a weekend snapshot

It is cold.
We are ready for spring.
We are making the best of the snow.
Here's a peek into our weekend that is now just a happy collection of memories.

"Mama, I am determined to be the next Kelly Clark.
She started on the bunny hill too right?"

Here's to praying for warmth and safety as you and your lovelies sleep.
Here's to thanking God for warm coffee on Monday morning.
And here's to knowing that as sure as God is faithful, we will either meet Him face to face or live another weekend.
Blessings to you all!

<><tce

a girl on Sunday morning

I know what you're thinking.
I can't make up my mind.
I know there is 18 of you that are likely to notice and because I am proving to be 'one of those girls' that can't ever make up her mind, I feel I owe you an explanation.

A girl on Sunday morning is likely to find herself before a wide array of clothing--some too small, some too large, some too bright, some too dull, and nothing just right. She is as frustrated as her husband is puzzled. "Everyone else always looks super cute and trendy," the girl thinks to herself as she pulls off yet another shirt that just isn't quite right. During this time she notices all the physical flaws, some that were supposed to have been taken care of during last year's resolutions, and some, well, she just blames her Creator for. Overall, she is discontented and tired of trying to measure up to this ideal that she herself has created in her head.

This girl is me. Not with the clothes part, but with the comparison and flaws part.

I have been blogging for nearly three months now and God has spoken such truth to my heart through my own writing that I never want to stop writing. However, I am finding that the deeper I go into 'BlogWorld' the more and more aware I am of my inadequacies. There are so many cute blogs out there, full of fabulous photos and creative custom touches--none of which I am gifted with.

I have spent hours in front of my screen trying to figure out how to make blog look like those other blogs.

It is then my faithful God tenderly draws me back to the simple truth that it's not about me. It's about Him. It is by God and through God and for God that I write. It is not about creating a blog that will impress or writing words that will make others think I'm fabulous. It's about communicating the simple, uncompromised Truth of the Gospel.

I always tell my kids, "there will always be someone smarter, faster, or 'prettier' when we measure by the world's standard. When we use God's standard as our guideline, we will find peace and rest. The other is like trying to catch the wind in the palm of your hand."

If only I would remember that.
Good night blog land.

<><tce
 

{this moment}

a {moment} in time at some point through the week. A {moment} that made my heart smile and my mouth breathe a small prayer of thanks. A {moment}...

{imagine}

{pray}

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, 
compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 
bearing with one another and, 
if one has complaint against one another, forgiving each other; 
as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. 
And above all these, put on love, 
which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.
And be thankful. "
Colossians 3:12-15


Remember who you are. You are chosen by God. Holy and Beloved. 


Wear compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience like a garment. Everyone will see them. And if worn correctly, everyone will want to know where you got them.


Remember, you have been forgiven. You are commanded to go and do likewise. In responsive gratitude to your Forgiver, go and forgive another. 


Above all, wear love. Wrap it around your neck like a scarf. Wear it like perfume. Savor the harmony and be blessed by the beauty. 


Choose peace. Allow the overwhelming presence of God's peace to penetrate the anxious, sad and shamed recesses of your heart. 


Remember too that you have been called to be a part of a Body--a body of Christ and a body of believers. You have not been called to bear your burden alone. Reach out. Share the pain that you carry. Carry the pain of another today. Pray with someone before the sun sets.


Be thankful. Look for God in the smile of a stranger, the touch of a child or the embrace of a friend. Utter a quiet breath of thanks. 


Happy Friday!
<><tce

blessed are the merciful...

"Blessed are the merciful,

for they shall receive mercy."

~Jesus Christ

Matthew 5:7

Jesus Christ spoke much about mercy and forgiveness and doing good to those that least deserve good and loving those that are difficult to love. However, this does not mean putting one's self in a place of abuse or neglect and calling that love. There are occasions when loving an abusive person is removing oneself and the children from the situation so that the abusive and hurtful behavior is not learned and the cycle of pain and abuse is not continued. Love will sometimes mean boundaries and severing the relationship, but love always, always means prayer (Luke 6:27). 

I was hurt so badly by another several years ago and I remember feeling such an unrelenting sense of hate and anger. The Holy Spirit gently brought me back by reminding me, "Tiffany, I have not held your sin over your head, how dare you do it to another."

The truth is, you and I are in need of mercy as well. Although our sin may take a different form, our sin is sin nonetheless and hurts ourselves and others in the process. It is not until we understand the greatness of His undeserved love and mercy upon us, that we will even begin to understand the need to forgive and show mercy to others. 

Jesus says it best in Luke 6:32-36...

"If you love those who love you, what benefit is it to you?

Even sinners love those who love them. 

And if you do good to those who do good to you,

what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.

And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 

But love your enemies, and do good, 

and lend, expecting nothing in return, 

and your reward will be great, 

and you will be sons of the Most High, 

for he is kind to the ungrateful and evil. 

Be merciful even as your Father is merciful."

Paul reminds us in the 5th chapter of Romans, that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. He didn't wait until we had it figured out or even realized we needed a Savior. He knew we needed forgiveness and atonement and offered it regardless of what our response would be. 

Dear friends, I speak as one traveling this rocky, solitary road of mercy and forgiveness. I remember hearing an unforgettable sermon on mercy preached by Pastor John Piper that compelled me and frustrated me both. I went and spoke with him afterward because I wasn't sure how to take these unbelievable words and bring them to life, in one relationship specifically. I don't even remember the conversation, but I do remember ending with prayer. You see, prayer is not only petitioning God to change others or to relieve the situation, but to change my heart in the midst of the pain and uncertainty. Prayer takes our eyes off of our own pain and suffering and refocuses them back on the person and sufficiency of Christ. Prayer is not pretending that we aren't confused or scared or ashamed or broken, but prayer is acknowledging that God cares and that God is greater than any affliction of earth. 

As you begin to move into the weekend ahead, I pray that you would lay your relationships bare before God and ask boldly and humbly what mercy needs to look like. In Gary Thomas' unbelievable book Devotions for a Sacred Marriage his 'sequel' to Sacred Marriage (two books that have changed my life and marriage) he considers mercy a necessary ingredient to creating and maintaining intimacy in our marriages. It is not until we forgive and let go of this idea that we are always the victims of others that our relationships will even begin to be what we hope they will be. Intimacy is directly linked to mercy. We experience intimacy with God when and only when we understand our need for and experience God's all consuming mercy in our lives. 

May the mercy of God meet you in your moments today and may that mercy compel you, change you and challenge you to show mercy to those that need it. May prayer be the spoken language of your heart today and may it change you from the inside out. I pray that you would understand what mercy needs to look like and that you would have the heart to obey. I pray that just as Jesus promised, you would experience mercy as you endeavor to extend it.  Please, pray likewise for me as I walk this road as well. 

Blessings.

<><tce

blessed are those who hunger and thirst...

"Blessed are those who 

hunger and thirst 

for righteousness,

for they shall be 

satisfied."

~Jesus Christ

Matthew 5:6

I read this verse and my heart leaps within me--satisfied--I want to be satisfied! 

Other versions use the word 'filled'. 

Satisfied. Filled. 

Two words that are so elusive, yet so real. Two words that many will spend every last penny and every last breath searching feverishly for, and yet never actually obtain it. 

Ask those in Hollywood. Money. Cars. Fame. Physical trainers. Personal chefs. Silicone. Collagen. Spouse. Another Spouse. Yet another spouse. Still...that emptiness remains. 

It is almost as though we were created for something more than this earth can even offer. 

When there are people that have everything and yet still feel as though they come up short, is it even possible to be satisfied? Is it possible to be filled? 'Filled' insinuates there is no room for anything more. No room and no need. Is that possible when confined to earth? 

Many would say no. 

Jesus says yes. 

But...there's a condition. Satisfaction and fulfillment don't come when we hunger and thirst for love, or knowledge, or happiness, or friendship. Satisfaction and fulfillment are embodied in the intense craving for righteousness. 

When we crave righteousness we crave the very person and being of God. Romans 3:10 tells us that there is "no one that is righteous, no, not one." When we hunger--long for--righteousness, we confess that our hunger and thirst extend beyond any capacity of man and rest only in the person of God. 

Hunger and thirst. Two warning signals that are built into the human brain alerting us of a physical need that if not met, we will meet the grave. Our bodies can not live on Twinkies and Edy's Grand (although there are moments I am convinced otherwise). God created our bodies to crave nutrition, not junk. When we fill our bodies with the other, not only are we not satisfied, but the cravings for more junk intensify and we end up overweight and undernourished. 

Our souls are the same way. We were created for God (Genesis 1,2) and our souls crave the very person of God and the righteousness of God. There is nothing that will fill that void. We can spend our lives trying but we will come up empty every time. Every time.

But, the story doesn't end there. Jesus Christ promises that all that hunger and thirst for righteousness will be satisfied. He didn't say, "only those that I find worthy," or "only those that have lived good lives..." No. "Blessed are those..." the only criteria? We hunger and thirst. When we hunger and thirst, we are admitting that we are unable to meet our need and something--Someone--outside of ourselves must intervene. 

Are you tired of striving? Are you tired of trying to make sense of nonsense? Comfort from pain? Order from chaos? Fulfillment from the transient? Jesus Christ also said, "Come to me, ALL who are weary and heavy laden, and I WILL give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

When our hearts sincerely express a hunger and thirst for righteousness and the righteous person of God, He has promised to satisfy. 

Won't you come, taste and see that the Lord is good? 

Come. Be filled. 

<><tce

a Proverb and a prayer

"He who pursues righteousness and love

finds life, 

prosperity

and honor."

Proverbs 21:21

Good morning Lord! Thank you for your mercy in the sunrise and your faithfulness shown through even the smallest, insignificant things. Father, I pray that my heart would long for righteousness and love today in all things. I pray that Your Spirit of peace and reconciliation would abide in my heart today and be a close companion. I pray that I would strive to understand rather than to be understood. I pray that I would seek to love before I complain about being unloved. I pray that I would be a woman of integrity in all I do, say and think. I surrender those secret places in the unseen recesses of my heart, may you abide there and be glorified there. I pray that my pursuit of righteousness today would be greater than my pursuit for productivity, popularity, pleasure or prosperity. I thank you for your promise and I pray that you would grant me grace to see what life, prosperity and honor really look like. I confess that often my own ideas of life, prosperity and honor do not mirror yours. As a result I am quick to shake my fist and rebuke you for not fulfilling your promise, when indeed you are working in far greater ways than my wayward human heart is even aware of. Thank you for your tireless love. May that love be the desire of my heart today and may my pursuit of your righteousness change the way I see the world around me and my response to it. 

Thank you for life. 

Thank you for the abundant prosperity that I experience in every breath I take. 

Thank you for the honor of being your Beloved. 

I love you Jesus. 

<><tce

blessed are the meek...

"Blessed are the meek,

for they will inherit the earth."

~Jesus Christ

Matthew 5:5

This is a tough one. 

Meek is not exactly at 21st century word. When it is used, it is typically referring to a shy child, an unassertive person or a timid animal. Not exactly the traits of a person we see 'inheriting the earth'...

According to the Blue Letter Bible the original Hebrew language of meekness towards God is when one's spirit is so at rest in the protection and provision of God that we don't dispute or resist His dealings with us. Meekness is when we wholly rely on God rather than our own strength to defend against injustice. 

If you are anything like me, you just read that, read it again and said to yourself, "great. What in the world does that mean to me?" 

As I have prayed through this passage, I have struggled with it. I have a hard time submitting myself to the idea that I must stand back and allow the depravity of humanity and the 'virtuous beliefs' of society take over and impact my children and our future. I believe that Christians are called to be in the public arena fighting for what is right and sacred. We are called to defend marriage, for if we don't who will? We are called to stand in the gap for the innocent unborn that are being slaughtered in the name of 'free choice' for if we don't speak for them, who will? But....does this passage jive with all of that? This is something that I have had to work and pray through. I would encourage you to do the same. For now, this is the truth that God has spoken to my heart.... 

Meekness is the point where humility, boldness, gentleness and conviction intersect. Christians are not called to stand by and be trampled. We are called to move forward boldly wholly reliant upon God to be our protection and conviction. We are to keep our attitudes and our dispositions in check with Scripture. 

Look at the life of Jesus Christ. He spoke Truth as truth is, but He spoke the truth in complete love and humility. He didn't waiver in His position or water down His message to suit those that would hear or to avoid any conflict. He spoke words such as, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No man shall come to the Father except through Me." (John 14:6) He didn't say, "Buddha and I are the way...." or "The god within you and I are the way..." No. He said, "I AM THE WAY...NO ONE comes to the Father, except THROUGH ME." Those are pretty bold words. Words that are considered offensive, intolerant and unaccepting in today's vernacular. Why did He speak them? He spoke them because He loves His creation and knows that without the Truth we would be destined for hell. He knows that the Spirit of Darkness (Ephesians 6) that is vying for our souls wants us to believe that it is narrow minded and discriminatory to take a solid stand for something. The idea that we are to not only hear, but to accept every philosophy and ideology that this depraved world has to offer has become virtuous and those that refuse to comply are seen as hateful and prejudice. Are we called to hear the argument? Yes? Are we called to filter everything we hear through the lens of Scripture? Absolutely. When we do this, we will understand truth from lie and we are called to meekly defend that truth in every arena in the name of Jesus Christ. 

As we look at the life of Christ, we see the ultimate example of meekness. He spoke the Truth in love, with conviction and gentleness. He was a humble man, an unassuming man and He spent His days on earth giving glory to His Father above so that we may know that God will be glorified when our lives are lived in obedience to Him. We are called to speak respectfully (Ephesians 4:15), love unconditionally just as we have been loved (1 Corinthians 13) and to stand firm, certain of what we believe (1 Corinthians 16:13, Galatians 5:1, Ephesians 6:13, Philippians 1:27). 

As we seek to be people of meekness, living our lives by conviction through a spirit of love and gentleness, we will begin to understand what an inheritance really is. Christ has promised that we would not only survive life on this earth, but we will inherit this earth as our own as we strive to be people of meekness. Now that my friend, is an inheritance! 

May you stand firm, knowing what and in Whom you believe and may meekness be a trait that others would attribute to you. 

Blessings dear friends! 

<><tce 

blessed are those who mourn...

It was Tuesday night. EFCA Challenge National Youth Conference, Downtown Columbus, Ohio. Nearly 5,000 young people sat quietly as speaker and Pastor Geoff Safford spoke passionately on the second Beatitude...

"Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted."

~Jesus Christ

Matthew 5:4

To Geoff's right sat this breathtaking painting beautifully created by artist Eric Timm during our worship that night. Pastor Geoff spoke about grief and what it means to grieve. I must admit, I have always heard this verse and thought of this verse in the context of grief regarding a crisis or great tragedy. I have always taken this as a personal promise that although we grieve the loss of those we love on this side of heaven, our grief will be confined to this earth as God will one day comfort us in the ultimate way. 

While I believe there is truth to this, the way Geoff approached this Beatitude was unlike anything I have ever thought of and my heart longs to share it with those that will listen. 

The original Hebrew word used in this specific passage for mourn is penqeo which literally means to mourn, lament or grieve. My question is, to grieve what? "Blessed are those that mourn..." 

We are sinful people that live in a fallen world. The truth is, our sin breaks the heart of God. It keeps us in bondage to shame and fear. Sin limits the impact that we can have on those around us. It keeps us consumed with ourselves and numbs our responses to the needs of others. 

We enjoy our sin. If we didn't it wouldn't have such a tight grip over our hearts and minds. We long for freedom yet we hold tightly to the chains the enslave us. 

Have we ever thought about the One that died for the very sin we spend our lives holding on to? 

"He was despised and rejected by men,

a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. 

Like one from whom men hide their faces

He was despised, and we esteemed Him not. 

Surely He took up our infirmities 

and carried our sorrows, 

yet we considered Him stricken by God,

smitten by him and afflicted. 

But He was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, 

and by His wounds, we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

each of us has turned to his own way;

and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all." 

Isaiah 53:3-6

As Christ hung on that cross, naked, humiliated and completely abandoned, He cried out on our behalf. His body writhed under the crushing weight of our sin--every word arrogantly spoken, every lofty glance, every lustful thought or act, every greedy endeavor...every sin of every man. His heart broke with grief on behalf of His wayward creation. A Creation that He loved and longed for but was so blinded by the passions of the flesh that it failed to see the dying Creator hanging before their very eyes. 

As Geoff spoke, he took a large bucket full of goopy gray mud. As he spoke, he began to sling mud at this beautiful painting, the Precious Face of our dying Savior. A gasp was uttered throughout the silent auditorium as Pastor Geoff began to smear the cherished face of Christ. With every handful of muck, he spoke the name of a sin... 

"Arrogance." 

"Lust."

"Hatred."

"Greed."

"Disrespect."

"Envy."

As I sat and listened to my own laundry list spoken, hot tears stung my eyes as I saw my sin marring the face of my sacrificial Savior. 

"When are we as a church going to grieve our sin? When? When are we going to stand together and say ENOUGH! When are we going to stop pretending and start repenting? When are we going to stop condemning and criticizing and in turn start encouraging and holding one another accountable? When...oh when will grieve and mourn our sin before our Risen Savior? When?" ~Pastor Geoff Safford

Silence. 

Because God is faithful and just when He speaks, it doesn't end there. Jesus continued... "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." 

We are called to grieve our sin...hate our sin...confess our sin. It is not until then that we will be comforted. The anguish and the hurt that robs our peace and devastates our relationships is at the mercy of the One that is waiting to comfort. Forget not that He has already paid the price for your sin. All you must do is confess it. It is in that that He has promised to be faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). 

Comfort. Complete rest. Complete peace. If only we would grieve that which grieves His heart. 

May comfort and freedom be yours in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

Blessings....

<><tce 

{this moment}

I think blogging is fabulous. It is the delightful intersection of ideas and encouragement. 
I have borrowed the lovely idea of {this moment} from my sweet friend Ashley at The Homemade Life who snagged the idea from Amanda at SouleMama. My picture is not from the last seven days due to a little tiff my camera and I had earlier this week. But none the less, I appreciate the nudge to take a moment to look back into a world of pictures and memories. 
There are many priceless moments to share, but for now I will only choose one. 

I love this picture.
I love the sweet fellowship shared between sisters; 
I love the simple creativity and resourcefulness of a homemade fishing pole; 
I love the little flip flops, soon out grown; 
I love the sun kissed skin, the tousled hair and the warm memories of sweet babies in swimming suits and water shoes. 
All too soon, I will blink and these will be my grand babies. For now, I will enjoy these enchanting little people while they are still little. 
Blessings to you and your littles today.


<><tce

a lesson by moonlight

I am not a scientist by any stretch of the imagination, nor am I an astronomer. I write this post as a result of God's conviction as I walked my dog by moonlight last night. It was beauty I couldn't deny and a conviction I couldn't turn a deaf ear to. So, because I process through writing, I will write and I will share...

I messed up. I won't go into any greater detail simply because it is irrelevant. The fact is, I am a sinner saved by grace and last night the sinner within me insisted on her own way and left a trail of hurt and embarrassment in her wake. After getting the kids in bed, I took my dog for a walk so I could wrestle through some things with God. In His faithfulness He walked with me and let His light shine upon me...literally.

We live in the country. We are surrounded by farmsteads woven together through a community of gravel roads and wire fences.  As my dog and I set out on our usual route, I was blown away by the brightness of the moon. It was shining as though it were daylight. The air was cool and crisp; the forest was quiet; the moon was bright. There was no sound other than the snow crunching beneath my feet. As I walked in silence, I began to think about the moon itself. In itself it is nothing more than a rock suspended above the earth. What makes this rock any different than any other random rock-like object floating through space? It's position. You see, the moon itself was created for the specific reason to reflect the light of the sun and it was positioned specifically for that purpose.

'For what we proclaim is not of ourselves,

but Jesus Christ as Lord,

with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"

has shone in our hearts to give the light

of the knowledge of the glory of God

in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay,

to show that the surpassing power belongs to God 

and not to us.'

2 Corinthians 4:5-7

'My' message and 'my writing' is not about me, but rather about what God is teaching me and teaching through me; I am merely the vessel through which He is working. But, there are moments that I step out of that place and seek glory for myself which is as ridiculous as the moon stepping away from the light of the sun to go shine on its own and claim its own fame. The moon has nothing to shine because it has no light of its own--it is merely mirroring the light of the sun. Likewise, the moon is positioned by the Creator in such a way that it is able to reflect the light in a capacity that can dispel darkness through the hours of obscurity and blackness.  What if the moon complained and resented God for its position? What if the moon felt as though the position was unfair and resolved to come up with a greater place to be suspended above the earth? Not only would the moon be void of light, but there would be a great many other things that would be affected by the change. 

So it is with me. For a moment last night I resented my position and as a result I failed to shine the light of Jesus Christ upon those around me. As I walking I was reminded that Christ has positioned me exactly where He wants me to be for the single purpose of shining His light on all those that may cross my path. He wants to use my role as a wife, mother, teacher, mentor, home maker and friend to reflect the likeness of His Son to those that need the light. God gently reminded me that it is not about me, but Jesus Christ and His beauty being reflected through me. I am not called to be understood, praised or admired, but I am called to be a servant to others and to let His light shine out of darkness.

As I was walking last night, I was realizing that God sees the whole picture when we see just a part. God saw the need for a lesser light to rule in those hours of darkness and therefore He positioned the moon in such a way as to reflect the sun's brilliant light in those hours when the sun itself does not seem present. Because the moon is there to faithfully reflect the light of the sun, it reminds us that although the sun may be set for a time, it is still very much present and is still shining, even in the brief time of darkness. 

Just as the moon is nothing more than a rock in the right position, so are we nothing more than jars of clay that are filled with the extravagant reality of His presence and power in the face of inadequacy and humanity. It is this beautiful truth that Paul calls a treasure. Rather than shake my fist and complain about my role or situation, I ought to raise my hands in gratitude for the great privilege of shining His light in the darkness. I am thankful that all I am called to be is a reflection, for if it were up to me,  it would be a very, very dark night. 

<><tce

For more encouragement, read Isaiah 60:1-3, Matthew 5:13-16 and John 1:1-18

PS... I know I said I will be walking through the Beatitudes and have not been the last few days. I will continue to write on that tomorrow--I promise! Thank you for your faithful reading; happy blogging!

Flame

As long as we are still in the Valentine season, I thought I would share this powerful video with you. I pray that it would bless and challenge your hearts.

Blessings and love be yours today through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
<><tce

a Valentine wish

'For while we were still weak, at the right time

Christ died for the ungodly. 

For one will scarecly die for a righteous person-

though perhaps for a good person one would dare to die--

but God shows His love for us in that while we were yet sinners,

Christ died for us.'

Romans 5:8 

'Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? 

Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution,

or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors

through Him who loved us. 

For I am sure that neither death nor life, 

nor angels nor rulers, 

nor things present nor things to come, 

nor powers, nor heights, nor depths,

nor anything else in all of creation,

will be able to separate us 

from the love of God in Christ Jesus.'

Romans 8:35,37-39

What love! A love so gracious it is not given based upon merit; a love so selfless it gave it's life and only Son; a love so binding that nothing can separate us from it; a love so protective that it covers us like a garment in the midst of this painful and bloody journey of life; a love so flawless that it is not subject to the fallen human state of our flawed efforts to love. This is the love that is yours should you choose to accept it.  May God's overwhelming love capture your heart this day. May you find peace and rest within the great depths of His affection and may it spill over into every other area and relationship in this life you live. 

Happy Valentine's Day sweet friends!

<><tce

soul mates?

The moment is still as clear in my memory as though it had occurred last week. I was in 8th grade. It was 4th hour. Bible class with Pastor Randy, quite possibly the coolest youth pastor and teacher ever. Ever.

Growing up I had no solid marital example to follow. I had an idea of what a good marriage was or should look like, but it was nothing more than that, an idea. There were two couples that I remember being in awe of at a very early age and my youth pastor and his wife were (and still are) one of those couples.

Back to 4th hour. The moment that changed everything. Pastor Randy stood at the front of the class teaching as he always did and we were talking God's guidelines for choosing a spouse. And then he said it. A comment that took me aback and actually made me angry enough to talk to him about it after class. He said, "You all know I love my wife. We have a love and a marriage that is hard for me to imagine living a day without. I must say though, that the love we share could have been just as strong had I chosen another assuming it was within the guidelines that God had set out for me to follow." I was shocked. I had never heard anything so awful in my life.

After class, I approached him and I am sure that in my own snotty, know-it-all 8th grade tone, I asked him how he could say something like that. He smiled and sat down and motioned for me to do the same. "Tiffany, Sherry and I are very much enamored with one another even after all these years. My comment did not mean that I want someone else or I am in any way dissatisfied with the bride that God has blessed me with. Just the opposite actually. Every day we make the conscious choice to love one another in spite of our sinful natures and God has used that to knit our souls together. But love is just that, a choice. It is not mere chance or fate as society would have you believe. God has set forth boundaries in Scripture in regards to what God requires of us as far as integrity, stewardship, purity and so forth. As we live by those guidelines and surround ourselves with others that are doing the same, God will undoubtedly put godly men and women in our paths from whom we can choose to spend our lives with."

I left that class room that afternoon scratching my head. In one swift move, a man I emulated totally challenged everything that society automatically conditioned me to believe. I always had the idea that floating around somewhere out there was The One for me. As long as I wasn't ten minutes late or didn't withdrawal from that class or decide not to attend that university, I would find him. I had never thought of my spouse as a choice. The idea intrigued me. The idea gave me a lot of peace.

I grew up thinking that every marriage was destined to fail at some point or another. I just figured that eventually you fell out of love and moved on. For some it happened quickly and for others it took twenty years. This process would continue until you finally that One, that Soul Mate. Yeah, I figured there were a select few that just hung in there 'til death bid them part, but I would have never guessed they were actually happy about it. This whole idea of making a choice to love and God blessing that love through His presence in their marriage was a foreign idea, but a glorious one.

Our culture has embraced the idea that love is about us. We must find the right person for us and often that involves a lot (more for some than others) of trial and error. We date, we co-habitate, we procreate, we marry only to realize that the woman across the aisle at work or the man across the road has a lot more in common with us than our spouse. And then it begins. We begin to wonder if we married the wrong One and really, our soul mate is someone else.  Actually, it is because of this exact fear that fewer and fewer are getting married and are choosing rather to co-habitate. The sad part of this is that our children are growing up lacking a solid sense of what commitment and self sacrifice really is.

God's Word has a lot to say about love, but I think the chief example in all of Scripture is the love of Jesus Christ. Let's not forget that Jesus Christ was wholly God taking on human flesh to come, live a sinless life and die the death that we deserved (Romans 5:8). Let's not forget that He gave up the perfect fellowship of saints and angels in exchange for the wishy washy fellowship of backstabbing humans. He became obedient even to the point of death on a cross (Phil 2:7). He chose to love a sinful Creation knowing that the love returned would be flawed at best.

The day of my wedding I stood before my dearest friends and family and made an impossible promise to a sinful man. I promised to love him unconditionally, wholly and above any other. I promised to submit, honor and cherish him in every situation until death separated us. Have I failed? Miserably. Has he failed? On occasion. Have I ever regretted saying those two fateful words, "I Do"? No, but I have not always felt that intoxicating love I did the day I said them. Does that mean that I have 'fallen out of love' and should choose another? No. Satan wants nothing more than to destroy us eternally and he does that by creating this mentality that our happiness ought to be our first priority. If our hearts are not fluttering and being fulfilled, that must mean something is wrong and we should wake up and move on. There is no end to this charade. Ask anyone in Hollywood.

The world holds to this idea that love is something that just happens and when it does, you abandon all else and follow your heart. Ouch. This is a scary thought and there has been much destruction left in the wake of that romanticized idea of love and passion. When we base our love and life on feelings and the emotional state of our hearts, we will be let down every time and hurt others in the process. But when we make the choice to love a person and protect our affections in reservation for them and them only, God will knit our souls together until we are truly soul mates in a way the world could never create on it's own. Will it be difficult? Definitely. There will never be a more challenging relationship on earth simply because you will be vulnerable to another sinful person and often marriage reveals our own greatest flaws. But, it is in that vulnerability and the choice to love in spite of the flawed love offered in return, that our hearts will be the most fulfilled and God will be the most glorified.

In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul reminds us how important it is to be united only with those that share the same beliefs we do. God has a standard for Christians and when we step outside of that and marry one that does not share that same affection for Christ, our marriage will be difficult at best. Again, as we seek to pattern our lives after Christ, we will see that love is sacrificial, unwavering, submissive, hopeful and a host of other attributes (1Corinthians 13). When we desire to become like Christ, we will begin to understand what love ought to look like. Love is a choice. Sometimes it is a painful choice. No one knows that better than Christ Himself. But, if He hadn't made that choice, our souls would be destined for hell. As we choose to remain faithful to God and seek Him first, He will be faithful to provide a spouse with whom we can become soul mates. This will not come without cost for it will require great love and sacrifice as we continue to make that choice to remain faithful to the covenant we made before God and men. But, you know what they say, anything worth having doesn't come without price.

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**I must say, in addition to all of this, that if there is abuse or a lack of safety, that is not what God has set forth as His example of love and marriage. I would encourage those in that situation to seek protection for themselves and their children and to pray fervently for their wayward and hurting spouse.

A Compliment Indeed

If I could only use one word to describe myself I would probably choose a word like late, blessed, hopeful, haphazard, passionate or woman-in-need-of-grace-and-rest-and-a-long-suffering-spouse-children-and-friends. There are most definitely words that I wouldn't choose, and those words would probably include crafty (although I do LOVE to create while in the kitchen), trendy, or educated. Or stylish.

I think it is funny though, especially as women, how we perceive ourselves entirely different than the world around us may.  I have only been a blogger for two months and I was honored to have gotten my first award today. I am learning that this is something fun in the blogging universe and I thank whomever the thoughtful soul was that started this fun little thing. I look forward to joining in the merriment.

Phyllis from All Things Beautiful has blessed my novice blog by awarding me the Stylish Blog Award!

As part of the award, I must list 7 things about me that you may (or may not) know...so here it goes...

1.) This really great man asked my hand in marriage only nine days after my 19th birthday. I said yes.
2.) I have never once regretted my answer.
3.) 8 weeks after graduating from high school I moved to Tegucigalpa, Honduras to teach 7th-10th grade.
4.) I didn't know Spanish.
5.) I learned that God doesn't call the equipped, but He does equip those He calls.
6.) I love everything about being in the kitchen except the forgotten food in the back of the fridge.
7.) I talk too much and need to learn to listen more.

As my way of saying thank you I will pass this award on to my sweet friend Jill at Spoils of Wear. Jill is style. Jill is witty and real and cute. She is always on the lookout for a good deal and can somehow piece together a fabulous outfit out of just about anything, anywhere. We used to sit next to each other in Geometry and flick crayons up at the ceiling fan. Then the teacher moved us. Now we are blogging buddies and I learn what I should not wear from reading her blog.

Thanks to Phyllis for choosing me and thank you for sparing your precious time glancing through this collection of words. Many blessings to you all!

Blessed are the poor in spirit...

Close your eyes and imagine with me for a moment...
Weathered feet with tattered sandals.
Ordinary appearance wrapped in Divine Presence.
This humble and quiet man yet altogether wholly God, spent the last twelve or more hours teaching, healing and encouraging hungry and hurting souls. The day was drawing to a close, the crowd was increasing in numbers, the excitement was growing. Still, He was tired.
Seeing the crowds, He begins to retreat up the mountain. Still, the crowd follows.
What followed was quite possibly one of the most intriguing and quoted sermons ever.
I am embarrassed to say that until a national youth conference last summer, I had never given these verses tucked away in the book of Matthew much thought of my own. I am spending some time there again over the next few days and I would love for you to join me on this journey through the Beatitudes.

'Seeing the crowds, He went up on the mountain,

and when He sat down, His disciples came to Him.

And He opened His mouth and taught them saying,

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."'

Matthew 5:1-3

I would first like to point out that these words came straight from the mouth of God. It may seem insignificant, but the Bible makes a point to say that Jesus opened His mouth and taught these things. How often have I wished that God would speak to me! If only I would open my Bible and turn to Matthew chapter 5 (among other places) and realize that He IS speaking to me if only I would take the time to listen!

We live in a culture that worships at the throne of extravagance. We dream of opulent homes and idolize those that live that life. Fancy cars, flashy clothes and large rocks in settings of gold draw our admiration, affections and attention. I think it is no mistake that Jesus started this power packed sermon by addressing the condition of our spirits as it relates to poverty. What exactly does it mean to be poor in spirit?  I believe that it can be explained simply, but it will take a lifetime to digest. 

Simply put, but not so simply applied, we stop pretending that we have it altogether, have the answers and lack no spiritual wisdom and insight. It is often the arrogance of our hearts that keeps us from true intimacy with God and with others. Christians have this idea, as does the rest of creation, that we have to have it all together. And if we don't, fake it 'til you make it, as I always say. I had a dear man telling me a couple of weeks ago that if we look long enough we will find that god is within all of us--in essence, we are all god in a sense. Our society has taken hold of this idea that we possess within ourselves everything we need to get by in this life and beyond. Jesus is disbanding this idea right at the beginning of His sermon.

You see, it is not until we come before Him, head bowed and sheepishly holding the pieces of our lives, hearts and dreams and confess our sheer and hopeless state of poverty before Him that we will really begin to grasp the beauty of His sufficiency and inherit the kingdom of heaven. It is not until we stop striving to be good, holy and the god of our universe, and accept our poverty of spirit that we will truly be satisfied in Him and find the rest that our hearts are dying without. For it is in our poverty that the abundance of God's riches await us. 

Oh God that we would stop striving in vain and accept our poverty and need for Your grace and presence in our lives. God I pray that our hearts would fall prostrate before you and to you and you only would the affections of our hearts belong. Forgive me Jesus for this facade of self righteousness and personal wealth--it is only myself I am fooling. Consume me Almighty God and accept the offering of my poor spirit. I come in need of You and I pray that You would fill me and satisfy me. Without you I possess no good thing for all of eternity and all that is eternal dwells with you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for speaking truth to my heart. I love you Jesus. 

Amen.

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A Prayer for You

"And so, from the day we heard,

we have not ceased to pray for you,

asking that you may be filled with knowledge of His will

in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,

so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord,

fully pleasing to Him,

bearing fruit in every good work

and increasing in the knowledge of God. 

May you be strengthened with all power, 

according to his glorious might,

for all endurance with patience and joy,

giving thanks to the Father,

who has qualified you to share in the inheritance 

of the saints in light.

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness

and transferred us to the kingdom of His Beloved Son,

in whom we have redemption,

the forgiveness of sins."

~Apostle Paul

 Colossians 1:9-13

Hallelujah!! 

May the beauty and profound truth in these verses find rest in the inmost chambers of your heart today that you may have endurance with patience and joy in all the you encounter. If you have a personal relationship with Christ, remember that you are no longer under the domain of darkness but share in His kingdom! We have been redeemed and forgiven!  

Strength, peace, joy and fruitfulness be yours today in the name of our blessed Redeemer and Lord!

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4years4months

I did it. I am officially an unofficial blogger.

In my brief two months as a blogger, I have come to appreciate the community that blogging creates and the wealth of information, ideas and encouragement that dwells within it.

For those of you that know me, you will smile when I say that I am in over my head. My motto has always been, 'go big or go home' and blogging is no exception. This particular blog has been a great blessing for me (and others I pray) as I have been able to share through writing what God is teaching my wayward heart. For this I am deeply grateful and I am looking forward to what God has in store for this humble blog.

I have now started a second blog entitled 4years4months. (I thought choosing the names for my children was difficult--at least I didn't have a computer telling me the names we liked weren't available!) My four children all arrived within four years and four months, hence the inspiration for the title. My life is chaos. To be a fly on the wall in my home would require a good pair of sound muffling head phones and a lot of popcorn. I created 4years4months to be a place that I can share practical things about my everyday life as a mom, home schooler and circus master. I look forward to sharing the creativity that evolves out of our chaos, new or interesting recipes (which really is a relative term in my world), crafts, teaching aides and any other random ideas that may stroll through my messy brain throughout the day.

I can't thank you all enough for supporting me in this new venture. The comments and support that I have gotten have been overwhelming at best and I am humbled by your admiration and support.
Thank you and happy reading!
<><tce

www.4months4years.blogspot.com

a story worth sharing

I am a Bible writer. Not as in I helped write the Bible, but rather I write all over in my Bible. I underline, jot notes in the margin and date verses that speak to my heart in times of trouble or discouragement. As I was spending time with God this morning, I came across something I wrote regarding some verses in Colossians during a very dark time following my brother's death. My brother's death came just six weeks after my time in the hospital that I shared in the previous post. I was on strict bed rest and had to lay completely flat for the duration of my pregnancy. I spent my days completely alone as friends cared for my other children and my husband worked. Through this solitary time of nothingness, God ministered to my heart. I despised my bed rest. I went from being a very active and involved mother of three to a pregnant, inactive mother of one (I felt anyway). Then, only six weeks into my 'sentence', my brother tragically passed. There were many that pitied me and wondered why God would allow those two events to overlap. I too wondered, but as time went by, I knew exactly why God allowed these two things to happen together and I became extremely grateful for it. I had a lot of time to be literally 'be still and know that He was God' (Psalm 46:10) and during this time I started to write. I would send out update e-mails weekly and they were more of me sharing what God taught my anxious heart through my quiet days. The anger following my brother's death would have swallowed me whole had I not had the time to process it in the light of God's Word. As a busy mom, it is easy to forfeit that time with God for the sake of laundry, family or an extra 15 minutes of sleep. As I began to spend time faithfully in God's Word, He faithfully met me there and not only used it to encourage me, but to encourage others in their journeys as well.

"Continue steadfastly in prayer,

being watchful in it with thanksgiving.

At the same time, pray also for us,

that God may open a door for the Word,

to declare the mystery of Christ,

on account of which I am in prison--

that I [Paul] would make it clear,

which is how I ought to speak."

Colossians 4:2-4

Paul was in prison. This was not a prison with cable TV, three daily meals and outdoor exercise time. Undoubtedly, this was prison in a damp, dark concrete hole filled with mice, odor and other prisoners. Paul was there undeservedly. Many of his letters were written during his times of imprisonment. As I read this, my heart felt imprisoned to my situation. I felt trapped and limited in my ability and the loneliness about drove me out of my mind. I read this and realized that Paul knew those things well. So many times, it is easy to get hung up on the fact that we don't deserve the pain we are going through and therefore should not have to endure it. We become bitter and angry with God and as a result, we have little to no positive impact on others and we become more and more consumed in our pain. Paul did not deserve the meager rations of rotten food, the beatings, and the mistreatment that accompanied the undeserved imprisonment. But his response was vastly different than many of our responses as we face the fire. He was not asking for prayer in regards to his release or for his plight to be seen and heard, but rather for a greater opportunity to share the Truth of Christ in the midst of his imprisonment.

Where are you today? What is your story? What is God teaching you through the journey you are on? I undoubtedly believe that there is someone longing for encouragement if you would only be willing to step outside of yourself, examine how God is loving you in the midst of this fire and share that truth with someone else. It is often through the fire that we experience the most intimate fellowship with God and others. It is time for Christians to start sharing their stories and sharing the Truth of God's Word through them.

With this said, there is a story of a blessed family that I would like to share with you. I asked for permission to post these links and they graciously said I could. I grew up with Holly and have known her since I was a small child. God has really been challenging them as you will see, but I pray that you will also see how God's grace and presence is woven through the fibers of their pain and trials. 

I pray that their story, my story and mostly the Word of God, would not only meet you in your fire but would spur you on to share the love of Christ with someone else in need. 

www.caringbridge.org/visit/mikaiandelliemisener

May God's face shine upon you today and may your graciousness be evident to all...

<><tce

Enough.

Look around you.
I see my eight year old daughter assembling a puzzle at the table.
I hear the soft breathing of my youngest through the baby monitor.
I see rolls of carpet that represents a lot of money spent in hopes of home improvement.
My dog is curled up on the floor at my feet.
In a moment, any one of those things could be gone.
The soft breathing could stop, the carpet could burn and the dog could meet his fate while challenging the snow plow as he often does.
I challenge you to look around and find something that is not temporary, something that you can hold onto forever, something that is not at the mercy of the temporary nature of this earth.

February 13, 2004, while 20 weeks pregnant with our last child, our only son, I stared death in the face for the first time. The doctor made no guarantees and my husband and I waited in angst to hear if our unborn baby was going to live or die.

During this time of turmoil, these dark hours, God met me there. I scoured the pages of my Bible, feverishly searching for a story that would promise me a favorable ending. The thought of putting this precious life into the ground was something I couldn't even bear. I needed to KNOW that God would not require that of me. After hours of searching and nurses telling me I needed to rest, I slammed my Bible closed. I looked toward heaven and reminded God of my faithful service and reprimanded Him for His failure to meet me in my anguish. How dare He turn His back on me in my darkest hour. How dare He walk me through this fire. I didn't deserve this.

Sweetly. Quietly. Undeservedly. His voice spoke truth to my angry and fearful heart. The verse is tucked away in the middle of the tenth chapter of Hebrews and reads like this: "Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23 Although these weren't the words my weary soul wanted, they were the words my weary soul needed. Although everything around me seemed to be crumbling, the confession of hope had not been moved simply because the Promiser had not been moved. 
In those quiet moments in that dark and solitary hospital room, God quietly spoke truth and peace to the inmost chambers of my heart. "Tiffany, you search for a promise that you will be spared from this trial, but that is not what I will give. What I do promise is that I am faithful. I am faithful in life and I am faithful in death. I am faithful in sickness and I am faithful in health. I am faithful in all things and at all times. I am faithful when your spouse hurts you. I am faithful when the Doctor fails you. I am faithful. When it is there that your hope is found, you will not be shaken. Though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, you will not be moved because I am faithful." 


For those that know the ending and for those that don't, I will say that my baby was spared. For now anyway. He too is a temporal being, under the curse of death as is every other living thing on earth. He is dying just as I am dying. His days are numbered just as my days are numbered.
God's Word commands us to "set our hearts on things above and not on things of this earth" (Colossians 3:2)for the simple reason that everything on earth is subject to the temporal nature of this earth. When our hearts find our fulfillment, completion and hope in people or things of this earth, we find ourselves in a dangerous place. People will fail, things will break and living things will die. If our everything is summed up in these things, there will come a day when you will stand before a coffin or hospital bed and watch everything you live for slip through your fingers. You will find your hope snuffed out and your heart angry. BUT, when the first affections of our hearts are given to Christ, everything else becomes a blessed detail. While those blessed details fill our lives with beauty, we recognize that they themselves are not the source of the beauty. Just as Abraham held loosely to the life of his beloved and promised son (Genesis 22, Hebrews 11) we too must hold loosely to the things our hearts are inclined to worship. When we fail to do so, we become slaves to the temporary. We live our lives in fear of the unknown. We fear the possibility of evil, infidelity, financial ruin, disease and death. The temporary idols of this world become shackles around our hands and feet and imprison us to fear. God has come that we may have hope. God's Word says that in this life we will have trouble (John 16) but He goes on to remind us that He has overcome the world. He overcome death and disease and while he has not promised a painless existence with no 'unfair' suffering,  He has promised to be faithful. 


When all is said and done that alone remains. That alone is enough. 
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