weekly gratitude

There are many in blog land that take time out every week to share a brief list of gratitude.
I love that idea so I too will join in the merriment.
One can never be too thankful....right?

this week I am abundantly thankful for...

chickens that are generous in laying eggs so we can enjoy them.

spring time and the sounds, sights and smells it brings.

sweet kids that are outside before they are even dressed in the morning.

a clothesline full of freshly washed clothing.

home made cheesecake topped with lemon curd.

Sr. High kids.

the excitement my kids have about learning.

a new bathroom that is about finished.

flip flops.

rice pudding.

the piano book that was lost but has now been found.

the fact that I did not lose my mind as I tore the house apart looking for said piano book.

royal weddings and the fact that mine was not, yet my man is every bit as much of a prince.

happy weekend!

<><tce 

a single sprout

I love this picture.
It's simple.
It's me.

In many ways, since I have started writing and faithfully spending time in God's Word, He is changing me from the inside out. My heart is so easily consumed with self and I am thankful that God has not given up on me yet! Although I have been a Christian for most of my life, this is really the most saturated my heart and mind have been in God's Word. An amazing thing is happening--it is taking root in my life and even my children can tell a difference.

I am seeing tangible ways that God is bringing Scripture to life, answering prayers and directing my path. There are moments when the discouragement sets in and I feel as though this thick head of mine will never learn, but in those moments God reminds me that 'He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it in Christ Jesus' (Phil. 1:6) and that every giant Redwood tree started as a single sprout.

Hmm...I  like that. Now if I could only remember that....
Perhaps I will change the name of my blog.
People don't really seem to get the whole 'fettered heart' thing anyway....

Anyway, I'm just rambling now, a sign that I am tired.
When I start rambling it could get dangerous because I can cover a lot of random ground in a very short period of time.
Hmm, there I go again.

Oh, did I mention that I now have a flushing toilet and running water in my bathroom!!!
That's right, I married a rock star!
I will be posting pictures soon.
I am sure I can find some Biblical tie and make a great post! ;)
Good night!

<><tce

wave of the sea

'But let him ask in faith,

with no doubting,

for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

For that person must not suppose that he will 

receive anything from the Lord; 

he is a double minded man, unstable in all he does.'

James 1:6-8

Blame. 

It's the trademark of humanity. 

Within days of being in existence, Adam was blaming Eve for persuading him to do what he knew was wrong. 

With blame comes resentment, entitlement, pride, self righteousness and bitterness. 

Unanswered prayer. 

I am not sure there is such a thing. 

When our prayers go unanswered and requests go unfulfilled, 

our hearts are inclined to blame and believe that the problem is with God.

When in reality, the problem lies within us. 

All prayer is answered.

The issue is whether or not we have the eyes to see how God has answered the prayer.

He is present in all things and so intimately acquainted with our lives that even His hand can be experienced in the small details of life. 

When we begin to believe not only that God can do great things, but that He will do great things, 

and our lives are lived in faith, 

we will begin to see our prayers answered in unbelievable ways.

However, this may be in ways that we are not requesting. 

It is written, 

'My thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord.'

Isaiah 55:8

I will explain.

A good friend of mine found out that her pregnancy was terminal.

Her baby was going to die. 

Upon sharing her grief with another,

it was said that if she prayed enough her baby would live. 

God would surely hear her prayers and heal her baby.

Her baby died. 

She had prayed fervently, faithfully, and without doubt.

She had surrendered her heart before the throne of an Almighty God.

In His faithfulness, He answered her prayer and fulfilled her request

more beautifully and magnificently that she or her husband imagined. 

Did her baby still die? 

Yes.

But in His goodness, unthinkable good and blessing resulted from this child's short life. 

When we are committed to prayerfully seeking God's way for every aspect of our lives,

out of a heart that is surrendered to His will

and at rest in His protection over us and all that we love, 

He will fulfill the requests written on our hearts. 

When we pray by faith, we are finding complete peace not that He will do as we have asked, 

but that He will do what is the best and most God glorifying. 

When we pray by faith and present our requests before Him as He has asked, 

we are acknowledging, by faith, that His ways are not our ways

and we are okay with that.

That, I believe, is what James is referring to here. 

Our ideas of what is best will always be changing, 

just like the shadows of the day or the waves of the sea. 

When our hearts cling to our own ideas more strongly than they cling to the heart of God,

we will find ourselves unfulfilled, fearful of the unknown and unstable in all we do. 

It is not until we find that place of complete faith and surrender

that we will find the rest our souls are craving and discover that God has been answering our prayers all along. 

I will close with this: 

As you look at the desperate prayer of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, we see a beautiful picture of humanity surrendered to the perfect will of God. 

Christ does not want to drink of the cup before Him. 

Within the cup exists the pain, desperation, oppression and abandonment of earth. 

He is asking that it be removed from Him, 

but closes His prayer by surrendering, knowing completely that His Father

who is altogether, perfectly good, 

will bring the most beautiful treasure from the pain, desperation, oppression and abandonment. 

That is complete faith. 

Oh the blessing and redemption that would have been missed had Christ

not walked in obedience by faith

out of a heart completely surrendered to His loving Father! 

We are not called to deny our pain,

pretend as though we are not afraid,

or approach God with this fake sense of happiness. 

It is OK to confess these things before Him. 

It is not in confessing them that He is unpleased, 

it is in holding tightly to them and their predicted outcome

that we miss God's blessing for us and deprive ourselves of receiving anything from God. 

If we want the blessing of a life filled with God, 

we must be willing to lay aside all that comes between us, 

and believe that He will be all that He says He will be. 

God is waiting to be gracious to us (Nehemiah 9:17),

but we must have the faith to accept His graciousness.

Holy Jesus,

I am a double minded woman.

It is easy to cling to that which I know and believe to be good.

Without wanting to or understanding why I do, it is easy to put you in a box and say,

"if you are loving and good then you will _______ " 

Father, forgive me for that. 

Grant me grace that I may see your beautiful presence in all things,

rest in your complete love and perfect plan for me

and know that all you do is altogether, completely good.

May I grow in the knowledge and understanding of you and as a result,

may my faith increase exponentially.

As I grow in faith, may my spirit rest completely in you and your faithfulness. 

May I continue to walk by conviction,

doing the hard things even when those around me turn away. 

Thank you for your love.

Thank you for your protection.

Thank you for your presence in my life even when I am unaware or unappreciative.

Thank you for your faithfulness even when I am unfaithful. 

I love you sweet Jesus. 

Amen. 

<><tce

a day lived well

A day lived well...

started out quickly with four sleepy eyed Little One's wishing me a happy Easter.
A simple black pencil dress with a flattering cut for only $14 off the clearance rack.
It made me feel pretty and summery. $14 well spent.
A pretty pair of heels that made me feel, if even for a moment, that I had long, slender legs.
A hand made apron, gifted by a sweet friend, admired by many, worn as I served smiling people breakfast at church.
A great talk with one of our senior high kids while doing dishes after breakfast.

A lovely lunch with sweet friends to celebrate a Risen Savior.
Our weekly visit from a good friend who has become part of the family.

Handle bars, gasoline, mud, dirty helmets, and happy children.

Riding behind my Beloved, doing wheelies through mud puddles and feeling as though I was 17 again.

Taking turns giving the kids rides and listening to them squeal.
Hunting for hidden eggs filled with sweet surprises.

Underdogs on the rope swing and bocce ball in the yard.

A lunch so filling that even after hours in the mud, no one asks for dinner.
Kids that get excited about fresh fruit leftover from the church breakfast.
Kids that are satisfied with that for supper.

Muddy clothes hanging on the clothes line...big ones and little ones.

Running water in my own bathroom sink.
Celebrating the birth, life, death and resurrection of my Risen Savior Jesus Christ.
It has truly been a day lived well.

peace.
<><tce

a picture of humanity

'Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane,

and he said to his disciples,

"sit here, while I go over there and pray."

And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee,

he began to be sorrowful and troubled.

Then he said to them,

"My soul is very sorrowful, even to death;

remain here, and watch with me."

And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying,

"My Father,

if it be possible,

let this cup pass from me;

nevertheless,

not as I will, but as you will." '

Matthew 26:36-39

Imagine...

a sinless man who dwelt among us,

ate with us, 

laughed with us,

cried for us.

Hands worn, feet calloused, face leathery from the hot African sun. 

A perfect man who never used His perfection as permission to condemn,

lived among us yet remained separate and unstained. 

Tempted in every way, yet victorious over sin and it's devastating pull.

A man who lived a life longing for heaven and the unhindered fellowship of His Father,

yet so passionate for the redemption of His creation that He willing gave it all

and remained obedient even to the point of death.

A divine being who possessed all the power of heaven

and yet, when it would benefit Him the most, 

left the legions of angels uncalled so He could suffer and die a sinner's death

so we wouldn't have to. 

Imagine it....

Just days before, He entered Jerusalem to celebrate Passover. 

Passover...a celebration in remembrance of how God spared His people from the angel of death. Death gripped Egypt and all the first born sons of the Egyptians were taken as God's message to Pharaoh that He was not a God to be reckoned with when it came to oppressing His people. Every home with the blood of an unblemished lamb spread across the door frame would be passed over... 

Definitely a celebration worth having.

Christ, the sinless man who came to redeem the earth, arrived among throngs of cheering people laying their cloaks and garments across the road so He could have an entrance fit for a king. 

Cheering and singing one day, 

sneering and accusing the next. 

Jesus knew what awaited Him. 

He dined with His twelve in the upper room. 

Broke the bread and told His men how it represented His beautiful broken body.

He poured the wine and explained that it was a symbol of the blood that would cover the sins of mankind: past, present and future. 

With the feast over, Judas in cooperation with the authorities, and only hours remaining,

Christ could bear it no more. 

He took friends with Him to a solitary place where on His face, He confessed His humanity.

Completely God yet completely human. 

Sorrow gripped His heart as the sin of the world hung in the balance

and began to weigh on the shoulders of the only One that could alleviate the oppression of it. 

He confessed His heartache of what awaited Him

but surrendered completely.

As you read on, 

He prayed this prayer three times in this short period. 

Anguish like that you or I will never know. 

Anguish no human had ever experienced 

or will ever again experience. 

Perfection meets condemnation,

holiness meets hatred,

redemption meets oppression. 

As He prayed, His friends slept.

As He suffered, His friends fled. 

Satan knew this was his last chance. 

He used nakedness to humiliate,

pain to weaken, 

desolation to discourage,

accusation to persuade the heart of our bleeding Savior to prove that He was indeed the Son of God.

"If you are the Son of God, then come down from there!" 

The words undoubtedly stung, and yet He recognized who the His enemy really was. 

It was not the foolish and deceived guards;

it was not the ignorant thief hanging beside Him,

it was Satan, the hater, devourer and destructor of all human kind

and Christ refused to allow any earthly trial to dissuade Him from crushing his enemy.

That is why He prayed for them...

"Father! Forgive them, for they know not what they do!" 

(Luke 23:34) 

He refused to surrender to the evil that surrounded Him, 

persuaded Him,

and challenged Him. 

He refused to take the easy way out even though it was available. 

The redemption of undeserving, unaware and ungrateful humans was at hand,

and no amount of suffering, 

abandonment,

or ignorant accusation 

was going to sway the heart of the Redeemer.

He was completely surrendered to His Heavenly Father

and completely committed to His creation.

He breathed His last,

committed His spirit into the hands of His Father, bowed His head and died. 

The earth shook. 

Humanity went dark as the Son of Man surrendered to death. 

For a time, it would appear that death had won.

How could good come out of something so awful, so undeserved, so hateful? 

That is the heart of God--what Satan intends for evil God will use for good. 

Keep reading...

the resurrection is coming. 

A resurrection so powerful that it not only defied human laws of life and death,

but defeated the power of sin and shame once and for all. 

A race that was held captive by works was now freed by grace. 

I pray that your heart will be drawn into the blood that was shed on your behalf this Easter. 

I pray that the pain of His unjust crucifixion would change you, 

grip you, 

break you. 

I pray that His resurrection would revive you, 

restore you

and give you the strength to continue on in this life

knowing that He loved you enough to redeem you from the sin that holds you.

Embrace this beautiful picture of humanity mingled with divinity.

Allow the Truth of God to set you free this Easter.

Peace. 

<><tce

let him ask

'If any of you lacks wisdom,

let him ask God,

who gives generously to all without reproach,

and it will be given him.'

James 1:5

Good morning Sweet Savior!

My heart has been savoring the beauty of today.

You sat at the table and dined with your chosen twelve all the while experiencing a mixture of emotions I am quite certain. It was time to do what it was that you came to do, and yet the pain of abandonment, humiliation, and physical anguish awaited just around the bend. 

Today, as we remember the first communion to ever be taken,

may our hearts be drawn to the beauty and entirety of your sacrifice. 

Thank you for allowing your body to be broken on my account.

Thank you for the sweet blood that poured down to cover the sin that covers mankind. 

Thank you for your obedience even in knowing that not all of Your creation would respond favorably to your sacrifice. 

Thank you for redeeming me. 

Thank you for promising not only salvation to those that would receive it, 

but in Your faithfulness, You promise wisdom to all who would ask in Your name. 

Of all things on earth--more than health or safety,

prosperity or harmony,

I pray for wisdom. 

May my heart desire wisdom far more than the temporary stuff of this earth. 

Allow my heart to seek Your face and to hear your heart and give me the conviction to listen and obey. 

Remind me Sweet Jesus, 

that all I need is found in right relationship with you. 

When my heart is in anguish, want or fear, your words are simple and yet complete:

"...Let him ask..."

Forgive me for not asking. 

Forgive me for striving rather than seeking. 

Forgive me for arrogantly pursuing rather than humbly surrendering. 

Father, please give me wisdom that I may see your face and hear your voice and have the character to obey.

I love you because you first loved me. 

Thank you. 

Amen

<><tce

It is well!

The moment is burned into my heart and memory forever...
I was 26 weeks pregnant with our fourth child.
I was wearing a simple knee length black dress and I was sitting in the front row between my two favorite men:
Dad and my Beloved.
In front of us was a coffin.
A lovely, mahogany coffin draped with a vibrant spray of colorful flowers.

As the finality and frailty of life washed over me, the pianist approached the piano and began to quietly play an ancient hymn, one that I had chosen.
It was the first time I had been in a church building for more than 6 weeks due to intense bed rest that kept me housebound and bed ridden.
As the music began to play and the voices began to sing along,
there were no words coming from my mouth.
I just sat with my hands raised to heaven
and allowed the beautiful truth to wash over my spirit and
speak peace to the pain that had taken residence there.

There have been and will continue to be moments in this temporal existence
in which there are no words to say.
It is often in those moments when the Spirit speaks the loudest. For me, it has often been through music.

I heard this song yet again today and it makes me cry every time.
Not out of sorrow, but out of relief.
I do not have to walk this road alone or bear it's burdens alone.
The heaviest burden of all--my sin and unrighteousness--has been relieved and I bear it no more.

What ever road you are walking this day,
I pray that you too will lift your hands to heaven
as a sacrifice of praise
and that your heart will echo the words to an almighty, all knowing and ever loving God:
"it is well, it is well, with my soul."


<><tce

perfect and complete

It felt as though the tears were just below the surface.
I did my best to hold them back and for the most part, I succeeded--until about 10 o'clock last night.
As I rested my head on the countertop and washed the floor with my tears,
my surprised husband approached and stood with me as I cried.

"What's wrong Babe?"
After a moment or so, my reply was simple, "I'm tired."
"Well let's go to bed then."
"No...my spirit is tired."
He understood then.

This morning, God's Word is speaking directly to that and they are words that I need to hear
and words that I think I need to share.

'Count it all joy, my brothers,

when you face trials of many kids,

for you know that the testing of your faith

produces perseverance.

And perseverance must complete its work in you

so that you may be perfect and complete,

lacking nothing.'

James 1:2-4

'Count it all joy when...'

Joy often stems from something in which we have taken delight. 

We see purpose in it, 

recognize God's hand in it,

and become better people as a result of it. 

Joy is contagious, 

joy is super natural. 

Joy is the ability to see beyond earth

into the beauty of heaven.

James uses the word when...

not if. 

'you face trials of many kinds...'

pay attention to the words that James uses here. 

'When you face trials'...

it does not say,

'when you blame others for your trials'

or

'when you resent God or others for your trials'

but rather when we face them, 

take them head on and stare the challenge straight in the face through the Spirit of God. 

Blame, self pity and resentment will not only consume a person, destroy relationships and affect mental, emotional and physical health,

but it will suffocate the spirit of joy that God will impart as we walk boldly and confidently through the trial set before us as well deprive us of the divine benefits intended for us as a result of our trials. 

'for you know that testing of your faith...'

There are many things in life that we are guaranteed a measure of uncertainty--

this is not one of them.

We know that our faith will be tested

and that God promises a specific result.

However, this result is conditional--

we must face the trial and know that God will produce the fruit He has promised.

'produces perseverance...'

perseverance is to our soul what oxygen is to our lungs, 

water is to our bodies

and love is to our marriages.

It sustains us, empowers us

and gives us the heart to keep moving when everything within us says to lay down our weapons and admit defeat. 

Perseverance says defeat is not an option

because God is bigger than the mountain before us or the flames around us. 

'Perseverance must complete its work in you...'

Perseverance is the critical element to victory.

We want victory, but we want it to come easy.

That's impossible. 

Victory is only a result of perseverance. 

Perseverance is not only critical for victory,

but for developing within us the supernatural character that embodied the Son of God, 

our Redeemer, in whose footsteps we walk. 

'that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.'

It is easy to feel as though God is holding back

and allowing pain and hurt without having a purpose in it. 

We question, resist and complain, when all the while God has glorious plans and heavenly purposes that can only come to fruition through pain, trial and challenge. 

Character is developed within us when and only when

we share in the sufferings of our Jesus Christ.

It is there, at the foot of the Cross, where the blood poured down on our behalf,

that we see pain meet healing,

suffering meet relief,

death meets life,

sin meets redemption,

weakness meets strength,

weariness gives way to perseverance

and

and defeat shrivels in the face of victory.

As we walk in the footsteps of our slain and risen Savior, 

we are reminded that if it weren't for His divine perseverance 

our destiny would be hell.

"for the joy set before Him, He endured the cross...' (Hebrews 12:2)

His focus was not the cross...

His attention was not the pain.

His joy was set before Him--redemption of His beloved creation--

and it was toward that He set His eyes. 

Sweet Jesus,

I am weary and weak. I am full of pride and failure. More times than not, I am focused on the pain rather than the joy you have set before me through the pain. I am tempted to lay down in defeat more often that I am empowered to stand up in victory. Sweet Jesus, develop within me perseverance. Remind me that the only way to do that is to walk through the fire. Give me eyes to see and the heart to take hold of that which you have for me in the midst of the fire. 

I surrender my heart, my mind and my plans. 

Take me through the fire,

be present with me,

and develop within me a sweet and gentle spirit of perseverance 

that I may be perfect and complete,

lacking no good thing.

In the name of my beloved Savior Jesus Christ, 

Amen.

<><tce

The Letter of James

Good morning and happy Monday to all!

As hard as it is to re acclimate after the weekend, I actually appreciate Mondays.
Anyway, I am looking forward to what's ahead for me...us...at fettered heart.
I must have the soul of a writer, because I am always praying and thinking about what to write about next. I am always listening for ear catching stories, quotes or Bible passages that I can faithfully share with my Bloggies (of which you are one, whether you realize it or not :)

Anyway...
without many details other than that God has been refining me the last six months, I have really appreciated the letter of James.
James chapter 1 has 26 verses and I am looking forward to walking with you through this power packed chapter of God's love letter to us.
So won't you open your Bible to the end of the New Testament and read through James chapter 1 with me?

*pause*

'James,

a servant of God and of the the Lord Jesus Christ,

to the twelve tribes in the Dispersion:

Greetings.'

James 1:1

I love this verse. 

We have all been given a name. 

At first, the name is something that strikes a cord with our parents. 

As we grow however, it is something that we take ownership of and make in to something. 

A name says a lot about a person

(my middle name is Christmas...I'll give you one guess to determine my birthday...and no, I am not kidding)

but what we become tells a lot more. 

James describes himself simply and beautifully here:

'a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ'

no credentials. no accolades. no glory. no jaw dropping resume. 

just a humble position in relation to a sin bearing, death conquering, soul redeeming Savior. 

James walked with Jesus.

He knew Jesus.

He reclined with Jesus. 

This became who he was and what he did--he served and gave the glory to Him.

As I think about this in relation to my life this week and this morning,

I wonder how I would describe myself in one sentence, and I think I like James' description.

'Tiffany, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ'

I love it. 

That is who I want to be. 

I do a lot of things, I wear a lot of hats, I fill a lot of roles. 

But, at the end of the day, when all is said and done

(or often not done in my case)

the only thing that remains is the identity of my soul. 

I am a believer in Jesus Christ

and my life is lived in humble and beautiful service to Him.

Apart from this, my life is nothing but chasing the wind. 

I love that James starts his letter to the twelve tribes this way. 

He makes sure that we know that it is not about him, 

but rather his Savior. 

After all, it's not about what we know, but Who we know right? 

which is great for me, because I don't know much. 

my credentials are hardly impressive.

But my Savior...

now that is worth talking about. 

So today, that is exactly what I will do. 

'Tiffany, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ'...

I like it. 

How would you describe yourself on this happy Monday morning?

tired doesn't count :) 

Blessings!

<><tce

one of those moments

do you ever have one of those moments when your heart is so full that words won't come?

Right now, in this moment, I feel that way.
On one hand, my heart is overflowing from blessing.
I have the most splendid and godly women in my life that I have the privilege of calling friends. Spending the evening with some of them was like salve on a wound.
I needed their company and God blessed me by it.
On the other hand, there are things weighing on my soul that words can't express.
Some are deep wounds,
some are small things that I am sure I am exaggerating in my tired heart,
and others are things that I inflict on myself
such as expectations.

It is in these moments that I find myself in the presence of a mind-reading, heart-hearing, spirit-sensing, ever gracious, eternally loving, majestic and holy God.

"And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit,

because the Spirit intercedes for the saints

according to the will of God." 

Romans 8:27

Some moments, I don't even know how to pray...

or what to pray...

It is in those moments that I claim this promise. 

I will trust that in those moments when words aren't there,

the Spirit will intercede for me according to the will of God. 

That is what I want. 

That is all I want.

The will of God in my life

in these moments

and in those moments to come. 

He will search my heart, 

and intercede on my behalf 

according to the will of God. 

all I can say is thank you. 

Good night lovely friends. 

<><tce

take refuge

"Have you not known?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is an everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth. 

He does not faint or grow weary;

His understanding in unsearchable.

He gives power to the faint,

and to him who has no might He increases strength.

Even youths shall faint and be weary,

and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings like eagles

they shall run and not be weary;

they shall walk and not faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

weary.  exhausted. weak. 

Words I know well. 

There are many things I love about this passage, but my favorite? 

Isaiah starts out reminding us who God is. 

He doesn't address weariness or exhaustion until after he reminds his reader Who God is and how big God is. 

We are weary, He is powerful.

We are exhausted, His strength has no limits.

We are limited in knowledge, He is unsearchable in knowledge. 

There is not a single mortal man that does not meet his limit. his end. his crumbling point.

Even those that are young, smart, rich, successful, godly, will meet that point. 

But, the story doesn't end there. 

When we fall, when we faint, God is there. 

God is there in times of strength

and in times of weariness. 

It is in waiting...quiet waiting....

that we will be renewed. 

We cease striving, planning, plodding, managing...

and rest. 

Not only renewed, but we will be given a new perspective of it all. 

A birds eye view so to speak. 

God will give us wings like eagles to rise above the pain, the shame, the weariness.

We will be renewed in our fight against the Enemy and in our desire to run a race worthy of the prize. 

It is in this place--the refuge of an Almighty, unlimited God--that we find what we need--

a renewed understanding of who God is. 

a blessed reunion

Bible story bed-time with Nana

A few weeks ago,

I was weary in every sense of the word. 

There were a lot of things that hit the fan so to speak, 

and I found myself exhausted...

mentally, emotionally, spiritually,

exhausted. 

This came at a time when I was planning a small getaway with the kids for about five days.

I stayed with a woman that has been a great tool in the hands of God in my life through the years. 

All through high school, her youngest son was one of my nearest and dearest friends. 

We understood each other without the muddle of romance. 

He was someone I could count on and so was she. 

Our friendship has changed as we have both married and started families,

but there are those people that no matter how many miles or how many years pass, 

the friendship remains. 

I had people praying for me and the more miles that passed

the lighter I felt. 

I needed to get away and refocus. recharge. rest. 

I had very few plans for the weekend and very few expectations. 

I pulled in her driveway about two hours earlier than planned.

Just in time for dinner :) 

It was a warmish spring day and unknown to me, her two sons were coming to help out for a bit that evening. Yay! 

What a blessing it was to see good, godly friends again.

They each had their children with them so it was fun to see them as dads.

We sat at the dinner table well after the kids had finished and had gone to play

and talked about God, marriage, loving our spouses, loving our children and blood sugar. 

It was a lovely evening. 

I went to bed that night smiling. 

I didn't ask for it and He certainly didn't have to give it,

but that night He gave me a tangible reminder of Who He is. 

He is a God of fellowship, brotherhood, community.

God did not create us to be alone or to walk this road alone.

There are moments when the sense of isolation is all around me.

It is in those moments that God reminds me of His faithfulness

and His presence that is unaffected by the temporal things of earth.

The weekend just got better from there and I left for home

ready to face life again and to run the race set before me. 

God is faithful!

May renewal,

refocus,

and refreshment 

be attributes of your weekend. 

Blessings!

<><tce

do

there are many things I do
and many things I don't.

there are many things I wish I did
and many things I am glad I don't.

there are many things I try to do
and even more that I don't
because I am certain I can't.

of everything I do, wish I did or try to do,
there are a great many things I love to do,
and those are the things I make sure to do.
my heart smiles when I write;
my heart smiles when I teach;
my heart smiles when I bake;
my heart smiles when I look at this lovely and simple life I have and realize that
it is not about what I do,
but about what Christ has done.

It is because of that I am able to,
desire to,
and take joy in
what I do.

Good night sweet friends!
<><tce

This is the will of God

"See to it that no one repays evil for evil,

but always seeks to do good to one another and to everyone.

Rejoice always,

pray without ceasing,

give thanks in all circumstances

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus 

for you."

1 Thessalonians 5:15-18

The will of God for me. 

Have you ever found yourself saying or wishing, "Man, I just wish I knew what God's will was!" 

I find it interesting that in many Christian circles and in many churches across America, we treat God's will like some mysterious cosmic plan that we are always guessing at and crossing our fingers we are taking the right path. 

The amazing thing about God is that He has laid the path clearly in His Word and when we are faithful to live according to His faithful instruction, we will be in the center of His will for our lives. 

"Always seek to do good..."

I am called to not only do good, but to look for opportunities to do good.

to everyone. 

"Rejoice always..."

When my heart is inclined to praise, my eyes will be inclined to see God's faithfulness in every part of my life. 

Rejoice--this is verbal, active and public. 

Tell stories of God's faithfulness. Praise Him in the public arena. 

Take joy in His goodness to an undeserving person that is destitute without it. 

Rejoice!

"Pray without ceasing..."

Just as I think without ceasing, 

may my heart pray without ceasing. 

May my heart be in a continual state of communication with God

laying before Him that things that I agonize over,

take joy in,

stress over,

resent, 

disagree with, 

weep over

and hope for. 

and everything else that floats through my cluttered mind in any given minute. 

May prayer be the language of my heart more than English is the language of my lips. 

"Give thanks in all circumstances..."

Max Lucado puts it this way,

"I will praise before I curse. 

Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank my God for a moment to pray."

There is always something to be thankful for 

simply because God is in every situation at all times. 

There will always be evidence of God's faithful love and mercy if we would just open our eyes to see it. And when we do, we are called to give thanks. 

When our hearts speak the language of gratitude, 

the spirit of discontentment, bitterness and self pity will flee. 

I will take my mind and my life back from the spirit of self that seeks to consume it

and in it's place, 

I will thank my God for the light in my eyes, 

the breath in my body 

and the hope eternal that no one can take away from me. 

Actively seeking good,

rejoicing,

prayer

and gratitude.

They walk together. They journey together. They occur together. 

When we seek to do good, we will rejoice in the ability to do so, pray for those around us and inhabit a heart of gratitude to a God that is not affected by the temporary things of earth. 

And therefore, neither are we.

Rejoice!

<><tce

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

There are certain songs that capture my heart and my only response is through song and tears.
This is one of those and I feel compelled to share it with you.
If you didn't know, this was the inspiration for my blog title, fettered heart.
Blessings to you all!

<><tce

happiness vs holiness

I knew it after just four months...I was going to marry him.
I was only 17, but that didn't matter. He was perfect in every way and I would be a fool to let him go.
I always say that I found a guy that was too good for me and I snagged him before he could realize that. He says it's not true, but I still know that it is. :)
He is everything I never knew I always wanted.

I was engaged just days after turning 19 and blissfully married at 20.
Life couldn't have been better.

It didn't take long however to learn that marriage is hard.
There is nothing that exposes sin like marriage and parenting,
and for us, there wasn't much time in between, so it was a rough road at first.

Before we were married, a godly woman gave me the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas...a book that I would recommend to anyone that knows how to read.
His whole book is based on the principle,
"What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" 


As we approach our nine year anniversary, I must say that is absolutely true.
Our society as elevated happiness to a 'right' and encourages us to pursue it all costs.
The problem with this philosophy is that happiness is ever changing and elusive.
If we are not happy, we begin to think that something is wrong.
There are many times that may be true, but often, what is wrong is within us.
We swap spouses and move from relationship to relationship seeking that which only God can give us. We make demands upon our spouses to fulfill us entirely and act shocked when we realize that they are flawed humans that will disappoint and hurt us.

While it is true that God's love for us is unending and unconditional,
He desires for us to be holy just as He is holy.
While does love us just they way we are,
He refuses to leave us that way.
Just as a mother, I love my children in their small childlike state,
but I will have failed as a mother if they are 35 and still behaving as they do now.
It is up to us as parents to challenge them to grow and mature in their thinking and their observation of and response to the world around them.

God is the same with us.
He desires for us to mature and to become more like Him in the way we live, love and worship.
It is often through the covenant of marriage that He will faithfully grind away and expose those areas of sin and self that deprive us of the very life He has for us.
Sadly, many people run from it.
We would rather live in our disappointing and unfulfilling manner than to journey life with Jesus and let go of our own ideas of what life and love ought to be.

You see, when we begin to realize that marriage is more about holiness than it is about happiness,
we will begin to see our spouses differently as well as the life we live in general.
Taking the focus off of our own happiness and refocusing our hearts to God's holiness does just that--our hearts begin to refocus on the heart of God rather than the ever changing heart of man.

We were created for God.
He and he alone will satisfy the way our eternal souls need satisfaction.
When we begin to place those demands on a mortal man,
we are setting ourselves up for a fall.
When we begin to find ourselves in Him
through regular time and fellowship with Him,
our souls will be satisfied, challenged and changed.
As a result, our relationships will be satisfied, challenged and changed.

This mentality is by far the road less traveled by.
But one thing I know,
the Companion traveling with you will never change course
and He never grows weary or runs out of love, grace or patience.

May God be glorified and may your heart be satisfied within His presence and through your most intimate of relationships.
Blessings dear friends...

<><tce

love

'If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,
but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or clanging cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy,
and understand all mysteries
and possess all knowledge,
and if I have all faith to remove mountains,
but have not love,
I am nothing. 
If I give away all I have,
and sacrifice my body to burned,
but have not love,
I gain nothing. 


Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on it's own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrong doing, 
but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never fails.'
1 Corinthians 13:1-8a


I can write beautifully and teach with great eloquence,
but if it does not yield to others out of love and reverence for Christ, 
it is of no value. 


I can have a doctorate, a PhD, and all the esteem of man in the realm of education and success,
but if my life is not lived out in love, 
it is empty and pointless. 


To love is an impossible command.
I will never be capable of loving another in a way that fulfills this scripture,
because I am a sinful, wicked woman
that loves herself more naturally  and readily than I do others.

However,
in Matthew and 1 John, I find the answer to my moral dilemma.
'And He [Jesus] said to them,
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 
This is the great and first commandment.
And a second is like it:
You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself.
On these commands depend all the Law and all the Prophets."
Matthew 22:37-40


'We love because He first loved us.
If anyone says, 
"I love God," and hates his brother,
he is a liar; 
for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen
cannot love God whom he has not seen.
And this commandment we have from him:
whoever loves God must also love his brother.'
1 John 4:19-21


To separate a love for God from a love for man is impossible. 
God is love.
A love for God and a love for others are entwined.
We cannot love God without loving others.
We cannot love others without loving God.


Father God, precious Jesus...
Thank you for loving me first. 
Thank you for not waiting for me to be worthy of your love and your sacrifice. 
Please forgive me for waiting to love others until they earn it or show they deserve it. 
God, remove this conditional love that I offer and replace it with a love that is sacrificial,
gracious,
patient,
and merciful.
Remind me sweet Jesus, that you love me in spite of myself.
I am called to do the same.
May your unconditional love continue to radically change me from the inside out
and may I understand what love looks like lived out in my everyday moments.
Thank you for the truth of Your Word;
a truth that penetrates the inner recesses of my soul
where often darkness and an intense love for self grow deeply rooted. 
Thank you that your love has promised to change all of that. 
May I never forget that to love others is to love You
and to love You is to love others. 


It is by You and for You and through You
I live and move and have my being.
Take the offering of my love 
and be glorified in me today sweet Jesus.
May the fragrance of Your unfailing love
be the aroma of my life today.
Amen


<><tce