what is in a [woman's] name? part 2

"...and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab..."

Matthew 1: 5a

If you read my last post, 'what is in a [woman's] name? part 1' you came to see that I am studying the women in the lineage of Christ. Typically a woman's name is not listed in a genealogy, only the fathers and their sons.  If you look closely at the lineage of Jesus Christ, recorded by Matthew in chapter 1, you will see the names of five women listed which is unusual. The first was Tamar, a woman who remained faithful in the midst of shame and dishonor. The second is that of Rahab, a prostitute with a shady reputation from Jericho. 

Her story can be found in Joshua chapter two, with more mention of her in chapter six. I would encourage you to read through it and let the mercy of God's Word wash over you. For now I will paraphrase. 

The Israelites had been wandering through the desert for several decades in search of a land that God had promised to them. Moses, their leader, had died and Joshua had taken over. As they approached the Promised Land, there was no doubt fear and apprehension about taking the land as their own. They decided it would be best to send in two spies to assess the enemy so as to come up with a plan to take the land. There was a prostitute by the name of Rahab that lived in Jericho. Anyone could guess what a prostitute's response would be to two foreign men coming to town, and true to that, she opened her home to them. Word came to the king that two spies had entered the land and were hiding somewhere in Jericho. Without thinking twice, he knew Rahab's place was a likely stopping point for the men, so he questioned her immediately. She responded, "True, the men came to me, but I did not know where they were from. And when the gate was about to be closed at dark, the men went out. I do not know where the men went. Pursue them quickly, for you will overtake them." (v.5) In reality, the spies were hiding in her roof. She went to them and said, "I know the Lord has given you this land, and that the fear of you has fallen upon us, and that all the inhabitants of the land melt away before you. For we have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea before you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to the kings of the Amorites where beyond the Jordan, to Sihon and Og, whom you devoted to destruction. And as soon as we heard it, our hearts melted, and there was no spirit in any man because of you, for the Lord your God, he is God in the heavens above and on the earth beneath. Now then, please swear to me by the Lord that, as I have dealt kindly with you, you also will deal kindly with my father's house..." (vv9-12a)

I love this story because through it we see many aspects of God's character. God delights in using the unassuming and simple things of this world to shame the wise (1 Cor. 1:27) and we see this clearly through a prostitute's story. Without a doubt, she had the reputation that fit that of a prostitute. Even the king knew her story, perhaps he had even used her services. A reputation is hard to shake, especially a shady one. The Bible doesn't give a reason behind her prostitution, but one could assume that she was of low social class and perhaps uneducated. Whatever the reason, she was known by her actions, and it wasn't a noble or dignified reputation. 

I love how even a prostitute from a foreign land knew and feared the name of the Lord. Word of His provision had gone out throughout the land and the only response was to fear God and those people that followed Him. As we seek to faithfully follow Him, we will without a doubt see Him work in our lives. As we are faithful to tell stories of His faithfulness even those that have lived lives in direct opposition to God will come to a saving knowledge of Him. 

Perhaps what I love the most is that God's favor is not reserved only for those that have led 'good' lives. In fact, God's Word says clearly that not one of us are good enough to earn God's favor (Romans 3:10, Isa 64:6). We are all under the curse of sin and will never attain God's holiness. Throughout Scripture we see story after story of people that fail and yet God extends grace, mercy and redemption time after time.  

It is not reputation that determines God's favor, it is the attitude of the heart. Rahab knew her sin, she undoubtedly lived in shame and yet her heart feared God. She had heard the stories of the God of Moses and her heart responded. King David penned a verse that has penetrated my heart to the core: "For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51: 16,17 So many of us go through the motions of good works. We tithe or required ten percent, we take communion and attend church fairly regularly. We give to the starving children of Africa and put together a Christmas box for needy children at Christmas time. While all of these things are fine and good, that is all they are, they alone have no power to save our souls or redeem that which is lost. What God requires is not good works or even a good reputation, but rather a heart the recognizes its need for Him. This is recognized in the midst of brokenness and pain. 

This is the heart of God--He uses the brokenness, pain and unfairness of life to draw our hearts to His. It is in the desolate place that He invites us to come and partake, feast with Him in the abundance of His glory and grace. He will give us honor where shame once held us captive and not only will He use us for His glory and the blessing of others, but He will make us heirs with Christ should we let go of the trash we call ours and acknowledge our need for a Savior. Who knows, just as we are talking about a prostitute turned great grandma to the Savior of the World, perhaps others will be encouraged by our story of redemption as well. 

<><tce

what is in a [woman's] name? part 1

'Abraham was the father of Isaac,

and Isaac the father of Jacob,

and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,

and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar...'

Matthew 1: 2,3a

I am not a big history buff, that would be my husband. I appreciate history but have never really taken the time to listen, study and most importantly learn from it. Someone once said, "if you can control what people believe about the past, you can affect how they experience the present and shape how they will view the future." This is not a political blog, but I will say that the censoring of our children's history books in the school systems is a major travesty. By altering our nation's and world's history to suit secular belief out of 'tolerance' to other cultures and beliefs is sad, unfair (to our children) and downright wrong. 

I appreciate the truth of God's Word immensely. It ministers to my heart in the darkest times and God and His Word never change. Genealogies are a part of the Word however that I have always skimmed through, if not skipped over entirely. I have never been convinced of their importance and nearly all of the names are impossible to pronounce. I would rather get to the stuff that will affect my life. A list of obscure names is surely not that, therefore I have always moved on. Not this time. There is a genealogy (I say 'a' because I have yet to really study the others) that if you allow it, could change your life. Let me explain.

I have served in many capacities within the church, but Senior High has captivated my heart. The raw confession of a high schooler gets me every time and seeing what God is doing and what Satan is scheming amongst these young people is what keeps me in the ministry. I had a girl look me in the eyes and say, "Tiffany, you don't know where I have been, what I have done or who I have become as a result. Your Gospel is great, but I know it's not for me because there is no way that your God would want me." The brokenness was evident and her stoic demeanor to mask the pain was impressive at best. Oddly, I found my answer for her in, of all places, a list of obscure names in the first chapter of Matthew.

 I am not sure why, but the names of women are typically omitted.  I don't believe that God created women as a lesser being but in general, you will not find a woman's name listed in a genealogy. As I read through the genealogy of Jesus, the Holy Spirit stopped me each time I read a woman's name. I would encourage you to take some time to read Matthew 1 and if you count with me, you will see 5 names of females listed, one of them being Mary, the humble teenage girl that gave birth to our Savior. The other 4 may not mean anything to you, but I am hoping to change that and give you hope in the process. 

The first female I read was Tamar (tay-mar). I have heard that name but knew nothing about her. You can find her story, her remarkable story, in Genesis 38. I know the culture was quite different than the culture today, but as I read her story I was astonished. The pain that this woman lived with blew me away. The Bible does not speak of the shame or the pain, but as a woman I know it was there. As you read through this remarkable story on your own, I pray the Spirit would speak to your heart. In the meantime, I will do my best to paraphrase.

Judah took a wife for himself and by her had three sons. His first son, named Er, was given a wife name Tamar. Er turned out to be a bad seed, a wicked man whose wickedness God only tolerated for so long before killing him. Judah, Tamar's father-in-law, told his next son Onan to "go into her and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her and give her a son". You see, in this day in age, a woman's value was derived form the children she bore, namely the sons. So, Onan did as he was told, kind of. The Bible says he wasted his semen in the ground. I know it sounds crude, but as I read this I was shocked. Basically, Onan used Tamar to fulfill his lustful desires and had  no desire to dignify her at all. Rather, right before climax, he dishonored her continually by pulling out and allowing his semen to go to waste so as to purposely withhold children from her. As I mentioned before, a woman's dignity and value was found in the children she bore, and the fact that Onan was purposely withholding this from her, was the most hurtful thing he could do to her. True to God's faithfulness, He only tolerated the wickedness for so long, before he struck Onan dead as well. Judah, having struck out twice, still has no grandsons. He commands Tamar to wait for his last son Shelah (God only knows how long this would be!), so out of obedience, she remained. The day came when she thought Shelah was of age, so she removed her widow's clothing and replaced it with a veil. She went and sat at the town gate and waited patiently. Judah comes walking along (keep in mind--this is her father-in-law) and sees her, thinking she is a prostitute. Apparently, he has some sexual 'needs' at this time and solicits her services. Being a submissive woman, she complies but receives his signet, his cord and staff in the process. She becomes pregnant--with twins--and three months later, Judah is told that Tamar has been immoral and she is pregnant as a result. He summons her with the intent to put her to death by burning (no, I am not making this up!). She sends the signet, the cord and the staff ahead of her and says, 'I am pregnant by the owner of these things. Identify the man.' Judah realizes that they are his, and that his sexual rendezvous in the lust of the moment was not with a prostitute but rather by with his daughter-in-law! She gave birth to twins, named Perez and Zerah, and it is Perez that would join the lineage of our blessed Savior, Jesus Christ.

Whew! Let that settle for a moment. First, a woman's name in fairly insignificant. When we see the name of a female listed, it means something. Tamar's name is the first female listed in the lineage of Jesus. Let's keep in mind that this lineage was chosen before the creation of the earth. God knew that His creation would turn away from Him, fall prey to sinful desires and desperately need a Savior. From the beginning of time, we see God setting the stage for the entrance of His Son, Jesus Christ, into this lost and fallen world. Everyone spoke of this coming Savior, but no one anticipated how God would do this. Humanity anticipated a king in all his splendor coming from a royal and dignified line. Rather, our Savior came through a teenage girl, in a barn surrounded by cattle, through a line of people littered with scandal, pain, prostitutes and murderers (we'll get to that later). What does this mean to you and how does this speak to the pain of my senior high girl? God does not require perfection, just willingness. 

What blesses my heart the most was God's awareness of Tamar's pain and lack of dignity. I can't imagine what it would be like to a.)be married to an evil man then b.)raped continually by his brother and then c.)be solicited by my father-in-law only to then finally get pregnant and bear his children. Yuck. No thank you. I don't know how Tamar's story ended, but I do know that in spite of her pain and her shame, God had an ultimate plan. He was preparing the way for the birth of His Son, the Savior and Redeemer of all that which is lost and depraved. What better way to do this than to use that which is lost and depraved to do so. Nothing is mistake. There is no pain, no sordid story, no shame, that God can not use for His glory and our blessing. Why didn't God send His Son through a royal bloodline rich in history and beauty? Because there is no such thing. Every line is made of sinful people, people riddled with selfish ambition, lustful desires and greed. As we take a closer look at the very lineage of Jesus Christ, the only perfect human, it is important that remember that God had a purpose in the people He chose for this Royal line. He is speaking to our brokenness. If He can use a woman with no dignity, husband or 'value' to help usher in our Redeemer, then just maybe, He has a purpose for your pain and life as well.

<><tce 

perfectly imperfect

I am not fashionable. I absolutely love following a girlfriend's blog that is all about fashion. She's super cute and always has been. Sure, I have a few horrid pictures of her and I dating back to our 7th grade choir tour, but who doesn't have an 'ugly' phase? She finds the deals, has the 'eye' for a great match, and isn't too much of a coward to rock the funky trends. I rock the pony tail, the sweatshirt and the denim from two years ago. I could use being a mom as an excuse, but truthfully, even when I am away from my kids, I am a lost cause. 


I am not a decorator. One of my closest friends has an interior decorator for a mother. Not fair I say. Did I mention that she paints too? Doubly unfair. I still dominate the college dorm room theme in my home. That's right, I have a bean bag chair in my living room....


I am not computer savvy, I am a blogger and I am competitive. These three do not mesh well. Checking out all these great blogs written by these witty men and women about all these great things, complete with pictures, give aways, catchy phrases and great endings, leaves me feeling a bit insecure. I was just thrilled when the standard template was something kind of cute and my seventh requested user name wasn't already spoken for. 


I must say that I do OK in the kitchen. I love to create, taste and experiment. There are moments that I take great pride in the final product, but I have to admit that my creativity only goes so far. It seems as though my budget plays a part in that as well. Discovering great shops like Trader Joe's and the Golden Fig (a bit pricey, but a great source of inspiration) has helped that, but finding the time to stop and browse is a bit elusive as well. 


In a way, it seems as though I can never win. There will always be someone prettier, faster or smarter. There will always be that person that just has it all together complete with the cute house, clothes, kids and car. There will always be something to learn from other writing styles or parenting techniques. There will always be something left to clean or someone that is more organized. The leisure things like scrap booking, reading and running seem to be more and more difficult to squeeze in, while sleep becomes less and less a priority. And yet, in spite of my toil, I still fail to arrive. At the end of the day I am still not computer savvy, organized, fashionable or on top of it. Rather, I am tired and some days, a bit defeated. It is at times like this that I go back to the truth of God's Word and claim it for myself. I grab onto those promises and call them my own. They breathe life back into my weary spirit and turn my eyes back to where my hope is found.


I will never be who I 'want' to be in a sense. There will always be flaws and shortcomings. I am an imperfect person wandering through a fallen world. My soul is eternal. Everything that surrounds me, taunts me and tempts me is mortal. God hasn't called me to be any more than He has created me to be: a woman whose heart is hungry for His presence. For when I am hungry, I will be satisfied. 
<><tce

"Blessed are those that hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." 
~Jesus Christ in Matthew 5:6


"Therefore, do not be anxious, saying, 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." 
~Jesus Christ in Matthew 6:31-33


'For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.'
~King David in Psalm 139: 13-15


'Jesus said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up into eternal life." '
~Jesus Christ in John 4:13,14


'As the deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the Living God. When shall I come and appear before God?' 
~King David in Psalm 42:1,2

the beauty of brotherhood

'I thank my God in all my remembrance of you,

always in every prayer of mine for you all

making my prayer with joy,

because of your partnership in the Gospel

from the first day until now.'

Philippians 1:3-5

I am so thankful that God created friendship. It is the beauty among the ashes, the laughter through the pain, the refuge in the storm. 

This past week we spent five days reuniting with friends that we haven't seen in as many as six years. At one time we all represented one community, one church and one stage of life. Now, we cover the United States and represent different communities, different churches and different stages of life. While many things have changed, one thing has remained and that is our bond through Jesus Christ. 

There are many things in life for which I am thankful and sweet friendship that spans distance and time is definitely one of them. The beauty of vulnerability, the sweetness of Godly counsel and the refreshment of laughter and tears is not something that comes along every day. As we said our goodbyes and drove to the airport, my heart was humbled to know that there will always be a group of women that have my back at all times. Even more than that, I am thankful for their partnership with me in the Gospel. Although we didn't go door to door evangelizing or raising money for orphans, we prayed together, encouraged one another and challenged one another. We praised our husbands, talked about raising children and spoke clearly of what God is doing in our hearts, marriages, and lives. 

What a great blessing it is to have women that will faithfully partner with me as I journey through this life as a woman, wife, mother and Christian. May God bless you with sweet partnership in the Gospel as you seek to follow Him faithfully. Blessings to you. 

<><tce

qadash

'Then Joshua said to the people,

"Consecrate yourselves, 

for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you."'

Joshua 3:5

The Holy Spirit stopped me in my reading this morning on this verse. At first I began to read right over it, but God pulled me back. I am not sure why, but I will share with you what God spoke to my heart. 

The original Hebrew word, qadash, means "to be pure, clean, set apart, prepared". As Joshua spoke to his people, they were preparing to take over the Promised Land. This was not without risk, at least according to human standards, and was a great act of faith. The land was already inhabited and you can be sure the people were not going to just stand by and allow their land to be claimed by another. But, God had commanded them to go and had promised the land to them. He promised His faithfulness. He promised His presence (Joshua 1: 2-9). Now it was time to either trust and move forward forward or to doubt, turn tail and run. Joshua, their leader, knew what they had to do and this required complete consecration and readiness. 

What is it that lay before you this Lord's day? This Christmas week? This coming year? Truthfully, the unknown is as intimidating as the known at times. No doubt the Israelites were experiencing this. They had heard the promises of God, they had experienced the power, protection and providence of God, yet their hearts were still inclined to doubt and fear. That is humanity. No doubt that as Joshua challenged them to consecrate themselves, they spent some time remembering the faithfulness of God in the past and surrendering their fear of the future. 

May you take the time today to consecrate yourself before God. Confess your humanity, accept His deity; surrender your inadequacy, accept His sufficiency; release your doubt and remember His faithfulness. Prepare yourself, for He can and will do great things in and through your life today if only you will be willing. 

Blessings to you as we journey together.

<><tce

running to keep up...part 2

‘Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village.

A woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 

And she had a sister called Mary who sat at the Lord’s feet

and listened to His teaching. 

But Martha was distracted with much serving. 

And she went up to Him [Jesus] and said,

“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? 

Tell her to help me.” 

But the Lord answered her, 

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled

about many things, but the one thing is necessary.

Mary has chosen the good portion which will

not be taken away from her.”’ 

Luke 10: 38-42

I am a Martha. I love to serve. When I am not careful, my identity and self worth get tangled into my service. I feel work is important. I firmly belive that God has created us to work and for accomplishing the good work that He has set for us to do (John 17). If you read the book of Proverbs, it is bursting with verses in regards to laziness, expecting something for nothing, and idle hands tying them all to poverty. I believe we glorify and fellowship with God through our service and that is why we were created. But, as we can see as we study these brief verses about two sisters, our ‘service’ can quickly become self focused, self honoring and exhausting. 

The first thing I would like to point out is Martha’s hospitality. I think so many people are quick to say, “I don’t want to be a Martha!” and we regard her as an example of what not to do rather than an example to live by. While that is true for the most part, I must first say that she was there to welcome Jesus. There is no mention of Mary’s name as Jesus entered the village. We get the idea that Martha was waiting for Jesus, possibly even searching for the opportunity to welcome Him to her home. Our hearts and homes have much to learn from this simple example. How often is there a new face in the pew next to you on Sunday morning or a new employee going through orientation at work? How easy it is to let the opportunity slip through our fingers simply because it may seem a bit awkward to introduce yourself to a complete stranger. Imagine how different this world would be if Christians started searching for opportunities to welcome others, show hospitality and open our homes! 

The Bible says, “Martha was distracted with much serving.” My question is: distracted from what? She opened her home to Him, isn’t it appropriate that she be serving Him? I see this in my own life. I have opened my heart to Jesus Christ and the natural byproduct is service. Paul even goes as far as saying that we are ‘created in Christ for good works’ (Ephesians 2). However, when my focus leaves Jesus Christ and turns to the service itself, my heart is distracted from the purpose of the ministry, which is to glorify God.  

I love the next part when Martha literally tattles on her sister and tells Jesus what to do. If I had a dollar for every time this happened in my home, I would be rich! If I had to give a dollar for every time I did this before the throne of my Holy God I would be indebted for eternity. Again, by nature, we see the faults of others all the while glorifying our service and work. We complain that others aren’t carrying their weight and we are left to pick up the slack. This happens in the workplace, in the church, in the home. We allow resentment to take over, the focus turns to self rather than the purpose of our service and bitterness becomes the product of our feverish toil. 

Jesus’ response is simply beautiful. He turns her question back on her, but not in ugly way. Rather, he acknowledges something that she may not even be aware of--she is anxious about many things. If you read the passage again, Martha only complained about one thing--Mary not helping, but Jesus knew there was more than that. Often, my stress goes far beyond the one event that finally brought me to my knees. It would take all day for me to list off every single stressor, fear, hurt, and failure before Jesus, and the wonderful thing is that I don’t have to! Jesus knows our hearts more intimately than we do. He sees the real reason for our frustration even before we do. 

He concludes the same way I will. He brought Martha’s eyes back to worship. While worship can and does occur through service, the heart of worship is found in the presence of God. When our service takes us away from that, we must redirect our hearts back to the presence of God. There are moments that we are called to just sit and allow the presence of God to wash over us. Worship exists in many forms. The mother tenderly caring for a child, the husband drawing a bath for his wife, the child coloring a picture, the nurse praying over her ill patient, the weary person on their face in the presence of God. Worship is simply existing in the presence of God, anytime, anywhere. Worship is not something that only exists in the stained glass sanctuaries of American churches but rather in the heart of anyone that longs for the presence of God. 

I pray God's presence over your heart, mind and life today. I pray that you will live your life in a spirit of worship and may all you do glorify the Holy Creator that sustains you and gives you life. To God be all glory and honor, both now and forever. Amen.

<><tce

running to keep up...part 1

"Do not be deceived my dear brothers, 

every good and perfect gift is from above,

coming down from the Father of heavenly lights,

who does not change like shifting shadows."

James 1: 16,17

I sit encompassed by thousands of pounds of aluminum soaring through the air at a lofty 39,000 feet above the ground I walk on. I will soon be sipping on a beverage and enjoying the complimentary 'gourmet' pretzels that come with the flight. It is funny to me that somehow from nearly 40,000 feet off the ground, I am still connected via internet to the bustling pace of the human race that lingers below. In some strange way, I feel important right now. Lap top open, sipping on my bottled water while jetting across the continental US with dozens of other people pecking away on their laptops and scrolling through the screens of their iPods and iPads. 

It is funny to me to think back to life just a decade or two ago and think of how vastly different the world is.  I remember being a little girl and being completely amazed by the car phone a friend had. It was about the size of a small shoe box, mounted on the floor right between the driver and passenger seats. I remember the curly cord that connected the phone to the base and the funny sound the buttons made when pressed. It was truly amazing. My first cell phone was about that same size. It was impossible to lose it in my purse because it hardly fit in my purse. There was no such thing as a touch screen and if there was, most people couldn't afford them. The ring tones were standard and they couldn't take pictures, type letters or surf the internet. If you wanted to take pictures, you had to remember to bring your camera in addition to your phone. Now we charge our batteries, use memory cards the size of a dime, view our pictures immediately, snap and delete as wanted and even send them electronically within seconds of taking it. I could go on and on. Technology is ever moving and picking up speed in the process. We wait for nothing and we have the world at our fingertips with the click of a mouse. 

As I think of how quickly the world is changing around me, I find it impossible to keep up. There are always new products on the market that are safer, 'cleaner', more efficient, faster and healthier. The toys that I played with would never pass safety regulations for my own kids and the toys my kids play with are most likely going to be deemed unsafe, unhealthy and out of fashion my the time they are buying toys for their own children. Nothing ever remains the same. Things are always changing. Relationships change. People change. Jobs change. Technology changes. 

As I think about my children and the things I want to teach them, one of the most important is that God never changes. I am not talking about my grandmother's curtains that never changed and were horribly dated but rather a God who Himself is the embodiment of time and all that is eternal. God says it Himself in Malachi 3:6, 'I the Lord do not change'. The God that loved me yesterday loves me today. The God that saved the Israelites from the Egyptians as they crossed the Red Sea saved my soul from the destruction of hell and is still saving souls today. The God that walked the earth and healed the sick, the lame, and the diseased is still healing and restoring. I find complete comfort in this. I am not fashionably savvy or technology literate. I am not a cool person. I don't pack the gadgets or speak the lingo. I don't try to keep up with the changing times, I can't even keep up with laundry! At the end of the day, at the end of the road, as I cross the finish line of this ultimate race, I find complete peace that although I couldn't keep up with the rapidly changing world around me, my God is the Rock of Ages, the Eternal One, The One that doesn't change as quickly as the shadows on the ground I am flying over.  

May the God of this Universe who was, and is and is to come, the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, keep you, direct you, and minister to you wherever you may be, even if it is 39,000 feet above the ground. 

<><tce

the Example

"I glorified you on earth,

having accomplished the work that you

gave me to do." 

~Jesus Christ

John 17: 4

It's quiet. The kids are still asleep. My coffee is hot. My to-do list is growing. Any minute I will hear the sounds of foot steps coming down the stairs and my day with take off faster than a jet plane down a runway. It is tempting to start barreling through my duties in an attempt to get a head start, but just as I do, the Holy Spirit gently calls me back and challenges my focus. It is so easy to get swallowed up in running, doing and accomplishing and forget the purpose in it all. Accomplishing and striving are not bad, in fact Jesus Himself had a 'to-do' list of sorts. However, the question is, will we glorify God through striving and serving? 

I am a runner. Typically when it comes to race time I start to have these nightmarish type dreams. The most memorable one I had I showed up late to the race, in my underwear without my running shoes. I remember not being worried about being in my underwear, but I was agonizing over not having my own shoes to run in. I woke up relieved it had just been a dream! As I think about my approach to this day twenty minutes ago, I was ready to take off and I hadn't yet taken the time to 'suit up' for the day at all. Just as I would never dream of running any length of distance without the proper attire, so should I never think of journeying through a day without taking the time to get mentally and spiritually prepared for what lay ahead. 

"God didn't do it all in one day, what makes me think I can?" 

~Author Unknown 

This quote is not saying that God couldn't have created the world in one day. Rather, I think He was setting an example for us. While He could have spoken the world into complete existence in one single breath, He chose to do it in parts. I think we can learn that God is a God of order, He is God that sees the whole picture and knew His ultimate purpose. He also knew that He was creating a limited being, and unlike Himself, we would not be able to conquer the world in one day. Rather He has set before us an example of moderation, steady plodding and a focused heart. He loved His work. He delighted in His work. He took time to rest. I pray that today, we will follow this powerful example. Blessings to you as you seek to please God through the work He has given you today!

Father, I pray that when this day is done, I will be able to echo the words spoken by my Savior in the Garden that night. I pray that I will glorify you through my work today. I pray that you will remind me to keep my heart focused on the things above rather than the trivial things of this world. May I glorify you on earth while accomplishing the work the You have given me to do. Let my heart not forget who it is I am serving.

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peace

"Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, REJOICE!

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.

The Lord is at hand;

be anxious about nothing,

but in everything, 

by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving

let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,

will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus." 

Philippians 4: 4-7

While the radios are buzzing with tunes of chestnuts roasting, angels singing, and silver bells ringing, the reality of Christmas weighs heavy on many. The holidays seem to magnify the financial woes, marital strains and family dysfunction like few other things do. I know for me, Christmas has taken on a new meaning and new traditions have filled the painful voids that once existed. But even in the midst of that, the pain and shame that still lingers in the shadows can begin to close in. It is in those times that I find my heart claiming this promise penned by Apostle Paul many years ago. 

I don't know what awaits you today. I don't know anything about the reality you live in. My prayer for you is that the truth of God's Word would wash over you. I pray that regardless of the task that lay before you, the pain the dwell within you or the past that comes behind you would prompt you ever more to rejoice, to pray and to be thankful. 

In a season full of Santa Claus and wish lists, it is easy to approach the throne of God in the same way. While the heart of God, clearly expressed here, desires to hear our requests, the tone in which they approach the throne is critical. When my children approach me and whine out their wants or needs, it makes me want to turn a deaf ear. When they approach with gratitude and gentleness (the original Hebrew meaning of reasonableness as used in this original passage) my heart is inclined to not only listen but to respond with gentleness and favor. 

Whatever weighs on your heart this Christmas season, whatever darkness covers you or whatever ghosts of Christmas past haunt you, I pray that you will have the boldness to approach the throne of an Almighty, All Knowing and Ever Loving God. I pray that in that place your heart will be filled with gratitude as you see how in spite of the pain or unfairness God's faithfulness has sustained you. I pray that through that heart of gratitude you would have the boldness to present your requests to God, knowing that He has asked you to do so. 

May the peace of God, which transcends all human understanding, guard your heart and mind this day and this Holy Christmas season, in Christ Jesus. 

Blessings to you this day!

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childlike worship

"Ascribe to the Lord the glory due His name;

bring an offering and come before Him!

Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness,

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good,

His love endures forever."

1 Chronicles 16: 29, 34

The day started quickly. The feeling of laziness hung over me like a cloud. I battled the desire to turn on the TV, throw a box of cereal at my kids and tell them to wake me if someone was bleeding or choking. In spite of my humanity, I chose my daily pair of sweat pants, threw my hair in a ponytail and shuffled into the kitchen. It was somewhere between the bathroom and the kitchen that the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, "Tiffany, take time to worship, for it is in worship your soul will be refreshed." 

Over a gourmet breakfast of Kix and Rice Krispies, the kids and I talked about worship and adoration. We read about it and spent time singing our favorite worship songs together. Tears filled my eyes as my little boy waited patiently for his turn to choose the song and said proudly, "I want to sing Jesus Loves Me because I know it's true!" I wept through the simple childlike song as I listened to the young voices of my children raising their offering of worship to a Holy God. 

As the day unfolded, we talked about worship in our daily tasks. I explained how I adore Daddy and therefore I do little things to bless his heart. Loving God is the same way. "You mean, I can color a picture or ride my bike to adore God?" asked my excited five year old. "Absolutely!" So, that is exactly what we did. We pulled out the crayons and worshiped through colored wax on white paper. 

That evening, after supper, we turned all the lights off with the exception of the glittering Christmas tree lights. J lit a candle, shared his favorite Christmas song and we all sang it together as a family. Then, he lit my candle and I did the same. We went around the table, lighting the candles and worshipping Him in gladness. We then (the kids and I) shared about the pictures we colored and how we worshipped God in other ways that day. 

As I sit and type by the glow of the Christmas tree, my children sleeping, my dog curled up at my feet, tears again fill my eyes. God Himself, taking on the agony of earth to reconcile a lost and broken world to a Holy and Perfect God, grips my heart to tears. The sound of a child's sweet voice singing "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak, but HE is strong! Yes, Jesus loves me, YES, Jesus loves me, YES Jesus loves me--the Bible tells me so!" What a better time to celebrate the love of our Savior than Christmas. I don't know about you, but leaving the glory of heaven for the dust of earth, trading the fellowship of angels for the wishy washy back stabbing  fellowship of mankind all because He loved us enough to bridge the gap between holiness and humanity spells love like nothing else. 

Worship Him. Thank Him. Adore Him. Weep before Him. Love Him. Let His love penetrate your heart completely. Celebrate Christmas for what it really is. 

Blessings to you and Merry Christmas!

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the quiet spirit

"O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; 

my eyes are not raised too high; 

I do not occupy myself 

with things too great and too marvelous for me. 

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,

like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord 

from this time forth and forevermore."

Psalm 131

Beautiful simplicity. Perfect quietness. As a mother, my 'hours' don't end--even when I am away or asleep, I am ready to respond if need be. King David was undoubtedly in the same position. As king, he carried the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders. My 'kingdom' is certainly not as glorious and I don't have maidens and butlers to look after (how lovely that would be some days!), but I most certainly feel as though the world rests on my shoulders at times. 

Read this Psalm again. Let it impact your soul. King David's mind is in a complete state of rest. It is not occupied with things to great or marvelous for him. He recognizes that he is not greater than the circumstance running through his head and surrenders that before his Almighty God. He finds complete peace and rest in that place of surrender. 

What is a weaned child? It is completely different than a child taking comfort in the sustenance of it's mother's breast. Rather, it is a child that is content with her presence and her presence only. The child is not drawing anything from the mother other than perfect communion and rest in her embrace. 

I am not a theologian. I admit that I have not studied the Scriptures to the point of knowing what King David was going through at the time he penned this beautiful Psalm. Truthfully, the circumstances surrounding it are irrelevant. The truth is, while the world was still spinning, enemies still plotting, people still scheming, David was resting. David found complete peace in the simple presence of his Father. 

Oh Father, quiet my heart I pray. I am so quick to come into your presence and advise you. Remind me Father that what my heart longs for is not a solution but your presence. May I find complete rest in your embrace like a weaned child with it's mother. I surrender all those things that are too lofty for me--the problems of the day, week, year, that are too great for me to solve. I lay them before you and long to lose myself in the shadow of your wings. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for calming me. Thank you for sustaining me. 

"I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land." Psalm 143:5

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

look full in His wonderful face,

and the things of earth will grow strangely dim

in the light of His glory and grace.

~Helen H Lemmel 1922

Psalm 103

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; and all my inmost being, praise His holy name. 

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--

who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisifes your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.

He made known His ways to Moses, His deeds to the people of Israel:

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. 

He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor His anger forever;

He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him;

as far as the east is from the west, so far as he removed our transgressions from us. 

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him;

for He knows how we are formed,He remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; 

the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.

But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear Him, and His righteousness with their children's children-

with those who keep His covenant and remember to obery His precepts. 

The Lord has established His throne in heaven,

and His kingdom rules over all. 

Praise the Lord, you His angels, you mighty ones who do His bidding, who obey His word.

Praise the Lord, all His heavenly hosts, you His servants who do His will. 

Praise the Lord, all His works everywhere in His dominion.

Praise the Lord, O my soul."

The day lay before us new, unopened and without error. 

May our souls be inclined to praise as the day unfolds. 

Rather than raise our fists in frustration, I pray that we will fold our hands in prayer. 

If we raise our voices may it only be in praise. 

May God be glorified in all things and in every breath today. 

It is a lofty and impossible task; when our hearts are focused on Him rather than earthly things, the result is praise. 

As Christmas draws near, may a sense of wonder, praise and gratitude overpower all the fear, hurt and anxiety that lingers in the shadows.

As we lay our heads to rest when this day is done, 

I pray that our hearts will sing along with King David,

"Praise the Lord, O my soul!" 

Peace and blessing to you today.

<><tce  

knee pads and running shoes

*Nearly four years ago I was flat on my back in effort to save my pregnancy and the life of our unborn son. The 16 week sentence hit me like a prison term, and just six weeks into it my brother was killed. As I began the journey of grief and battled cabin fever while life continued on around me, God really met me there. His Spirit ministered to my own and this is something I wrote during that time. Who would have known that I would have needed this message again, nearly for years later....

 

" I will sing to the Lord because He is worthy of great honor. He has thrown the horse and rider into the sea. The Lord gives me strength and makes me sing. He has saved me. He is my God, and I will praise Him." Exodus 15: 1, 3

 

I was reading a Bible story (Exodus 14) with my girls this morning at breakfast and we were talking about the how the bad people (the Egyptians) were chasing the good people (the Israelites) and were trying to get them to come back to Egypt (the bad place).  The Egyptians were pursuing the Israelites through the desert with the intention to capture them and bring them back as slaves in Egypt. We got to the part where the Israelites needed to cross the Red Sea. My four year old was perplexed about the great expanse of ocean that spread out before them and the fact they didn't have any boats and there were sharks in the water. We talked about how God takes care of us even when there doesn't seem to be a sensible solution. I then asked what we should do when we are afraid. She thought for a moment and said seriously, "we should run away." I smiled and said, "well, ok, but what should we do before that?" (hinting at prayer of course...) Not catching my hint she replied, "I would put my knee pads on." The sweet innocence of my daughter blessed my heart and then I thought of how often I throw on my knee pads and start to run for my life when the future looks bleak...

I had to admit that those times occur when my perspective of God is narrowed by my own humanity and failure to believe in His sovereignty. I am so quick to forget how God has taken care of me in the past and how He has promised to care for me in the future. As the Israelites came to the Red Sea I am sure they were terrified; the sea's expanse that stretched out before them and the sound of soldiers and chariots closing in from behind had them reaching for their knee pads and running shoes I am sure. However, had they run they would have never beheld the greateness of God through the parting of the Sea. It was when we take matters into our own hands that we often miss the blessing in the trial. God was setting the Israelites up for something far greater than their human minds had ever imagined. So often, we limit God to our neat little God shaped box. We evaluate the circumstance before us, murmur under our breath "He doesn't part seas anymore..." and begin to devise our own plan or strategy that often leaves us with nothing more than blisters from running all the while failing to see His great provision and love in the midst of it all.

Easter marked my half way point of bed rest. The original assignment was 16 weeks;  I now have 9 down. Last Sunday marked the 3rd week anniversary of my sweet spirited brother's death. I went to church on Easter Sunday (against medical orders) and wept as I was reminded that our Savior died alone while people looked on and did nothing. I feel as though my brother died the same way and it breaks my heart to think of such things, yet I am so quick to accept the lonely death of my Savior. Rarely does His death penetrate the very core of my being the way my brother's death has. As I reflected on His death and resurrection I am reminded that I have everything I need in life--I have the power of a living God at work within me. There is no Sea too great, no desert too large, and no pain that He doesn't share. I am learning that God is faithful whether I see it or not. It is not running shoes, knee pads or a better prayer to a bigger God that I am in need of; I am simply in need of a little faith in a great God.

I pray that your perspective of God will be radically challenged and that the challenge will open your eyes to behold his faithfulness, greatness and love in a way like never before. I pray that whatever sea blocks your path that you would take joy in knowing God is setting you up for something far greater than your human mind can comprehend.

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"Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43: 1b-3a

 

a willing spirit

"Now the day began to wear away, and the twelve came and said to Him, "Send the crowd away to go into the surrounding villages and countryside to find lodging and get provisions, for we are here in a desolate place." But He said to them, "You give them something to eat." They said, "We have no more than five loaves and two fish--unless we are to go buy food for all these people." For there were about five thousand men." Luke 9: 13-14


It had been a long day. There had been healing, there had been teaching and there was no doubt that as night was drawing near, even the Teacher was fading. As the Twelve surveyed the situation according to their limited human capacity, they recognized the problem (they were in a desolate place, it was late and no one brought a sack lunch) and they presented their solution to Jesus. Their solution was simple: send them away to meet their own needs.

As the story has been preached about and studied, I think we are quick to condemn the disciples for the hastiness and lack of faith. They evaluated the situation, the present needs, and the resources available.  They most likely consulted one another to come up with a reasonable solution together. Truthfully, I think they have done well thus far. They then proceeded to present their problem and their solution to Jesus. What I love about this is their humanity is so plain to see and yet many of us miss it and the lesson that we can and often need to learn from it. They saw that the need was greater than their human capacity and although they had already experienced the power of Jesus in miraculous ways, the thought that He could surpass human limitations and feed these people didn't even cross their minds. If that doesn't define me perfectly I don't know what would! If I had a nickel for every time I doubted, fretted or just plain wished the situation away I would be wealthy! There have been so many times in my life that I have evaluated my situation, taken inventory of my resources and slinked away in discouragement.

What I love is Jesus' response to them, "You feed them." Have you ever felt as though God led you to a task that was impossible to complete? Every day I have sweet, sleepy children greeting me in the morning. Their hair is tangled, their eyes are still heavy and the day lay before us fresh, new and without error. It is in these moments that I am often met with great love coupled with a real sense of inadequacy. There is no way I can love these children in the way God has called me to on my own. I am so sinful and riddled with selfish ambition, that it would be impossible for me to be the kind of mother and example that they deserve and that God has called me to be. Yet, He still calls me to that task. Why? So I can be reminded yet again of my limitations and His ability to surpass them all. No doubt Jesus stood His Twelve before this crowd of more than 5,000 hungry men, women and children and asked them to do the impossible. Did He do this so He could watch them fail? No. Did He do this to embarrass them? No. He did this so the Twelve could see their inability and His supremacy side by side. Often, this is where we fall short. We only see our inability and we fail to see His sufficiency in all things. As a result, we often fail to experience it as well. The greatest plague of humanity is a desire to depend on self. Take a look at the very first humans, Adam and Eve. They had only been on earth a short time. When we think of them and the first sin, it is often thought of as simple disobedience. While their actions were indeed disobedient, we often miss the heart of the disobedience. They didn't eat of the tree for the sake of eating--they had an abundance of food all around them. They ate of tree out of a sheer desire to be like God--to BE God (Gen. 2: 5). The desire to be in control of our lives, to be self sufficient in and of ourselves is nothing knew--it is the very plague of all humanity. This is precisely what keeps mankind from God. It is not until we acknowledge our desperate need for a Savior and our complete inadequacy on our own that our souls will ever find the rest and peace that we so desperately desire. Pride stands in the way. This is what Jesus was confronting that day before this hungry crowd. He wanted His disciples to be effective in ministry and knew they could never be until they realized their inability and recognized His sufficiency. We can see that they realized their inability, thus their desire to send the crowds away. However, Jesus desired more. He desired to work through them in spite of their inability. That is precisely what Jesus was setting them up for that day.

The Gospel of John is the only book that tells us anything about the well prepared, generous boy that has become an icon of sorts in the Christian church. There are only twenty words written in regards to him according the English Standard Version of the Bible, and a majority of those words are describing the food. This boy has no recorded name, age, physical description or even birthplace (which was very important in that culture). Why does this matter? A lot is said in what was not written. The boy, the giver of the food, is insignificant. All we need to know is that he was willing to give what little he had. It is not the boy that God wants etched in our minds because that is where idolatry settles in. Rather, we need to have a clear picture of the smallness of the offering and the willingness of the giver. In so doing, we will then magnify the greatness of God rather than the greatness of the giver. You see, in our human minds we make the work of the Lord all about us: what we are good at, what resources we have, what we enjoy doing and how it fits with the rest of our lives. When in reality, all of this is irrelevant. While God has given each of us gifts to use for His glory, He is not limited to what we can and can not do. If this were the case, then we would be the ones magnified and glorified which would defeat the whole purpose! Our deeds ought to glorify the Giver of all Good Things (Matthew 5:16) or they are worthless.

Jesus is leading you to a task that will most certainly be impossible for you, not because He wants you to fail, but rather because He wants you to be blessed beyond measure. He wants to not only include us in His work, but to blow us away. He could have made just enough food to tie the crowd over until they got home. Instead, He multiplied it so greatly that they were not only full, but they had 12 baskets remaining! God wants to take what little we have and multiply it beyond our wildest imagination.

Just as Jesus asked the boy what was in His hand, He is asking you and me the same question. It is not a question to embarrass or shame us, but rather it is an invitation. It is an invitation to give what little we have and to see it multiplied into something of great impact for the kingdom of heaven. Who knows, perhaps it will have an impact so great that generations of people will be impacted by your willingness to give and be inspired to follow suit.
May the peace of God which transcends all understanding guard your heart and mind today in Christ Jesus.

  <><tce
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not us." 2 Corinthians 4: 7

the fettered heart

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." 
~Jesus Christ recorded in Matthew 11: 18-30

It is late. The house is a mess. The kids are in bed. My husband is fading. My spirit is weary. It is overwhelming to think of where to begin. All around me I see broken people. I see the mistakes I have made in my finances, in my parenting, in my marriage. I catch a glimpse of hurt that I have unknowingly caused another and my heart wrenches within me. I think of the miles I should have run this week, the to-do list that didn't get done, the cards that weren't sent, the phone calls that went unreturned. Like a hamster in a wheel, I run feverishly as though the world is depending on me. It is in these moments that His gentle spirit reminds me of His ever abiding presence if only I would turn my eyes upon Him and behold Him in His sanctuary. And so I find myself yet again, lying broken at His feet, with the remnants of my strivings before me. It is here, in the midst of my complete inadequacy and failure, that I can clearly see that indeed He has remained steadfast, unshaken, immovable...faithful.

It is to this faithfulness that I commit this blog. I long to tell stories of His faithfulness and that is what I will do. I am so unworthy and often unaware of my desperate need for a Savior which is why I am thankful that His fidelity and unwavering love have nothing to do with what I do or fail to do (Ephesians 2: 8,9). I must simply turn my eyes away from myself, allow my strivings to cease and acknowledge that His grace truly is sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:9).

"O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above."
~Come thou Fount of Every Blessing, Robert Robinson

It is my prayer that you will join me on this journey. I pray that I can encourage you and you will in turn encourage others. I pray that as we seek to be men and women of God, that our hearts would be drawn to His own. I pray that in the midst of life's chaos, distractions, frustrations and inadequacies, that we would find our hearts and our minds centered on Christ, the Giver and Sustainer of Life and that there we will find the peace our souls are desperately searching for.


"So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands." Psalm 63: 2-4


"Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. " Psalm 61: 1-4


"For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed," says the Lord who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54: 10