happiness vs holiness

I knew it after just four months...I was going to marry him.
I was only 17, but that didn't matter. He was perfect in every way and I would be a fool to let him go.
I always say that I found a guy that was too good for me and I snagged him before he could realize that. He says it's not true, but I still know that it is. :)
He is everything I never knew I always wanted.

I was engaged just days after turning 19 and blissfully married at 20.
Life couldn't have been better.

It didn't take long however to learn that marriage is hard.
There is nothing that exposes sin like marriage and parenting,
and for us, there wasn't much time in between, so it was a rough road at first.

Before we were married, a godly woman gave me the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas...a book that I would recommend to anyone that knows how to read.
His whole book is based on the principle,
"What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" 


As we approach our nine year anniversary, I must say that is absolutely true.
Our society as elevated happiness to a 'right' and encourages us to pursue it all costs.
The problem with this philosophy is that happiness is ever changing and elusive.
If we are not happy, we begin to think that something is wrong.
There are many times that may be true, but often, what is wrong is within us.
We swap spouses and move from relationship to relationship seeking that which only God can give us. We make demands upon our spouses to fulfill us entirely and act shocked when we realize that they are flawed humans that will disappoint and hurt us.

While it is true that God's love for us is unending and unconditional,
He desires for us to be holy just as He is holy.
While does love us just they way we are,
He refuses to leave us that way.
Just as a mother, I love my children in their small childlike state,
but I will have failed as a mother if they are 35 and still behaving as they do now.
It is up to us as parents to challenge them to grow and mature in their thinking and their observation of and response to the world around them.

God is the same with us.
He desires for us to mature and to become more like Him in the way we live, love and worship.
It is often through the covenant of marriage that He will faithfully grind away and expose those areas of sin and self that deprive us of the very life He has for us.
Sadly, many people run from it.
We would rather live in our disappointing and unfulfilling manner than to journey life with Jesus and let go of our own ideas of what life and love ought to be.

You see, when we begin to realize that marriage is more about holiness than it is about happiness,
we will begin to see our spouses differently as well as the life we live in general.
Taking the focus off of our own happiness and refocusing our hearts to God's holiness does just that--our hearts begin to refocus on the heart of God rather than the ever changing heart of man.

We were created for God.
He and he alone will satisfy the way our eternal souls need satisfaction.
When we begin to place those demands on a mortal man,
we are setting ourselves up for a fall.
When we begin to find ourselves in Him
through regular time and fellowship with Him,
our souls will be satisfied, challenged and changed.
As a result, our relationships will be satisfied, challenged and changed.

This mentality is by far the road less traveled by.
But one thing I know,
the Companion traveling with you will never change course
and He never grows weary or runs out of love, grace or patience.

May God be glorified and may your heart be satisfied within His presence and through your most intimate of relationships.
Blessings dear friends...

<><tce