i'm blessed

it has caught up with me.
in a way, I knew that it would...or figured it would anyway and it finally has.
my self pity and lousy attitude has taken it's toll on my family and marriage.
I could go on and list all the reasons--the perfectly good and justifiable reasons--as to why I have wallowed in the slime of self pity, entitlement and resentment. Or I could just say thank you.

Last night as I walked with God under the multitude of stars, all of which He knows by name, I cried out my tears of regret and longed for a do-over. Unfortunately, this life doesn't afford do-overs, but it does afford move-forwards, for which I am deeply grateful.

As the still, small voice of my faithful and gracous God spoke truth to my heart, I knew that healing would only come through gratitude. The only way to mend what I have broken, repair what I have damaged and re-claim what I have forfeited is to allow gratitude to consume to me and cover me like a garment. Rather than point out my disappointment, I will spell out my blessing. Rather than focus on the irritation, I will thank God for the opportunity to love and be loved. even when I am not deserving of it.

So today...this first Monday of the month of October, the month of ghosts and goblins and everything dark, I will thank God for the heavenly host, the quiet of my soul and the power light has over darkness. I will choose light...I will choose gratitude...I will choose to acknowledge my blessing rather than curse the inconvenience. I will thank God for the journey rather than complain about having yet to reach the destination.

I will dwell with those I love most and do my best to make them feel loved, rather than obsess over being loved, knowing that it is only through loving others that my soul will be filled with love.
I am blessed.
tiffany

This is me, joining my friend Gretchen over at He Sows She Sews in her fabulous Monday morning 'I'm Blessed' posts. What better way to start the week?!