knee pads and running shoes

*Nearly four years ago I was flat on my back in effort to save my pregnancy and the life of our unborn son. The 16 week sentence hit me like a prison term, and just six weeks into it my brother was killed. As I began the journey of grief and battled cabin fever while life continued on around me, God really met me there. His Spirit ministered to my own and this is something I wrote during that time. Who would have known that I would have needed this message again, nearly for years later....

 

" I will sing to the Lord because He is worthy of great honor. He has thrown the horse and rider into the sea. The Lord gives me strength and makes me sing. He has saved me. He is my God, and I will praise Him." Exodus 15: 1, 3

 

I was reading a Bible story (Exodus 14) with my girls this morning at breakfast and we were talking about the how the bad people (the Egyptians) were chasing the good people (the Israelites) and were trying to get them to come back to Egypt (the bad place).  The Egyptians were pursuing the Israelites through the desert with the intention to capture them and bring them back as slaves in Egypt. We got to the part where the Israelites needed to cross the Red Sea. My four year old was perplexed about the great expanse of ocean that spread out before them and the fact they didn't have any boats and there were sharks in the water. We talked about how God takes care of us even when there doesn't seem to be a sensible solution. I then asked what we should do when we are afraid. She thought for a moment and said seriously, "we should run away." I smiled and said, "well, ok, but what should we do before that?" (hinting at prayer of course...) Not catching my hint she replied, "I would put my knee pads on." The sweet innocence of my daughter blessed my heart and then I thought of how often I throw on my knee pads and start to run for my life when the future looks bleak...

I had to admit that those times occur when my perspective of God is narrowed by my own humanity and failure to believe in His sovereignty. I am so quick to forget how God has taken care of me in the past and how He has promised to care for me in the future. As the Israelites came to the Red Sea I am sure they were terrified; the sea's expanse that stretched out before them and the sound of soldiers and chariots closing in from behind had them reaching for their knee pads and running shoes I am sure. However, had they run they would have never beheld the greateness of God through the parting of the Sea. It was when we take matters into our own hands that we often miss the blessing in the trial. God was setting the Israelites up for something far greater than their human minds had ever imagined. So often, we limit God to our neat little God shaped box. We evaluate the circumstance before us, murmur under our breath "He doesn't part seas anymore..." and begin to devise our own plan or strategy that often leaves us with nothing more than blisters from running all the while failing to see His great provision and love in the midst of it all.

Easter marked my half way point of bed rest. The original assignment was 16 weeks;  I now have 9 down. Last Sunday marked the 3rd week anniversary of my sweet spirited brother's death. I went to church on Easter Sunday (against medical orders) and wept as I was reminded that our Savior died alone while people looked on and did nothing. I feel as though my brother died the same way and it breaks my heart to think of such things, yet I am so quick to accept the lonely death of my Savior. Rarely does His death penetrate the very core of my being the way my brother's death has. As I reflected on His death and resurrection I am reminded that I have everything I need in life--I have the power of a living God at work within me. There is no Sea too great, no desert too large, and no pain that He doesn't share. I am learning that God is faithful whether I see it or not. It is not running shoes, knee pads or a better prayer to a bigger God that I am in need of; I am simply in need of a little faith in a great God.

I pray that your perspective of God will be radically challenged and that the challenge will open your eyes to behold his faithfulness, greatness and love in a way like never before. I pray that whatever sea blocks your path that you would take joy in knowing God is setting you up for something far greater than your human mind can comprehend.

<><tce

"Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43: 1b-3a