need

A friend said to me once, "Tiffany, sometimes I feel as though I don't exist. Molly is gone and only Mom, Wife, and Homemaker exist. I have gotten lost in the endless needs around me."
I remember nodding in agreement as she spoke, fully understanding that feeling and wondering if Tiffany existed anymore either.
Tonight we pulled into the drive with five amazing children passed out in the back of the family truckster (as my dad affectionately refers to our Suburban). We were able to get the front door open in spite of the mess that lingered just beyond its hinges, but the mess screamed at me as I made my way over the piles, around the strewn items and up the stairs. The pets followed in hungry anticipation of a meal that was overdue and my husband asked where I set the keys...as if I could remember--it was all of two minutes ago! Looking around for keys that had been in my possession just minutes ago served as yet another reminder that I was no longer in control, but the mess was controlling me. The needs at that moment felt like unrelenting weights crushing me slowly and breaking me down, bit by bit.
the lawn needs mowing.
the dishes need washing.
the pets need feeding.
the kids need bathing.
the mail need getting.
the Suburban needs unloading.
the floors need washing.
the laundry needs folding.
the shower needs scrubbing.
the thank you notes need sending.
the phone calls need making.
the husband needs loving.
the blog needs writing.
the house needs tidying.
the boxes need unpacking.
the carpets need vacuuming.
the e-mail needs responding.
the list needs making.
the birthday card needs sending.
the pictures need printing and the album needs filling.
the new neighbors need greeting.
the fridge needs cleaning.
I could go on and on...can you tell?

As I have been reading through Luke I am reminded over and again about Whom and through Whom I live and move and have my being. In Luke 9, Jesus looked at His complaining disciples and said, "You feed them." You see, it was getting late, Jesus and His men had been all over the country, teaching and healing in the name of God Almighty. It was now getting late, and undoubtedly the disciples had some grumblies in their tumblies. (that's toddler lingo for you...) There was one problem however...there were still more than 5,000 people hanging around and the disciples didn't even have food for themselves. Their compassion had a limit and this was about it. They had just spent the day healing but there had to be a limit to God's ability and generosity...right? The disciples' solution? Remind Jesus of the desolation around them and give Him the best plan of action: "Send the crowd away to go into the surrounding villages and countryside to find lodging and get food, for we are here in a desolate place."
Hmmmm. I hear a lot of Tiffany in that statement.
Evaluate the situation around me.
Disregard the God that is right next to me.
Remind God of my ever limited resources and draw my conclusion from there.
I love Jesus' response here. He looks at His disciples (if he was sinful, there would have definitely been annoyance in His voice) and told them to do the impossible: "You feed them."
Ha. Hadn't they just told Jesus they were in a desolate place and didn't even have food for themselves?
Why would Jesus ask them to do what was impossible to do?
Because there is no such thing.
God has no limitations and there is no end to His resources and mercy.
What we see as inconvenient, overwhelming and impossible, God sees as a beautiful opportunity to manifest Himself.
Jesus turned it on the disciples to remind them yet again, that yes, you do have limitations and yes, there is an end to your resources and ability and compassion.
But not Me.

As I look around and see all that needs to be done, God is reminding me of the same thing:
"Tiffany, I understand there is an end to your resources, but when you draw upon Me, there is a limitless supply of all you need....starting with peace."
If the disciples would have had the ability within themselves, they would have never experienced the miraculous provision and generosity of God.
So it is with us.
If we had everything within ourselves to accomplish and provide,
there would be no need for mercy or an all encompassing God who Himself is all things.

Today...
may the sheer joy of God's presence in your life be all you need to sustain you and give you peace.
May you behold the mountain of needs before you as an opportunity to see God at work.
May your spirit echo the words of Apostle Paul, "It is not I who lives, but Christ who lives within me."
Claim His strength today. Claim His victory over all things temporary. Cling to the eternal.
And watch in amazement as He not only sustains you, but uses you to be a blessing to more people than you cold ever imagine.
Thank God for your limitations and inability as they create the backdrop by which He does great things.

Blessings,
tiffany