what I need

During the course of any waking moment, there is a myriad of things that I find myself saying, either to myself in the quietness of my soul, under my breath is frustration or out loud to another human being.
These are things that I believe are true, and at the end of the day there may be some truth in them, but I as I sit in the stillness of my Creator's presence, I hear the words of my mouth and I stand corrected.

I need to get away.  I need to get more organized. I need to get up earlier. I need to go to bed earlier. I need to exercise more. I need to eat less. I need to read more. I need to lose five pounds. I need to get away. 

The list goes on.
You are no different.
I know this because as humans, as women, as mothers and wives and friends and mentors, we give of ourselves from the time our senses become aroused from sleep and the wheels of our minds start to turn in thought and consideration of the day that stretches out before us.
We are giving. We are doing. We are striving. We are planning. We are executing the plan.
The effective and proper execution of that plan depends wholly upon the resources we have...this is where the "I need..." comes into play.

While the needs we have in any given moment are valid and some may be healthy, the breakdown and the hangup often occur when we fail to see our primary need: God.

King David, a man who maintained order in a kingdom, wrestled with sin nature, and longed for God's heart to beat in his own chest, undoubtedly understood the weight of productivity, organization, accomplishment and all the other things that we ourselves carry through our days. As a result, when he writes, I listen--or should I say, what God has penned through his human fingers, I take to heart...

'Oh God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;

my soul thirsts for you;

my flesh faints for you,

as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

So I have looked upon you in your sanctuary, beholding your power and glory.

Because your love is better than life, 

my lips will praise you.

So I will bless you as long as I live;

in your name I will lift up my hands.'

Psalm 63:1-4

I need to cry out to God. I need to acknowledge God as who He is to me. I need to seek God, for without Him I am parched and weak. I need to gaze upon the face of God. I need to behold His power and His glory. I need His love for it is better than any attempt of love on my own behalf. I need to praise Him for who He is, and who He continues to be in spite of myself. I need to bless God. I need to lift up my hands in personal and corporate worship. I need God. 

When these words become true of me, all the other needs that I have will fall into their proper places, for the essence of all that I need begins and ends with God...with a fixed gaze upon the all consuming face of God, the beautiful and fulfilling Person of God. 

A.W. Tozer, a brilliant writer and man of God, wrote these words: 

'Indeed, Jesus taught that He wrought
His works always by keeping 

His inward eyes upon His Father.
His power lay in His continuous 

look at God (John 5:19-21). In full
accord with the few texts we have 

quoted is the whole tenor of the inspired
Word. It is summed up for us in the
Hebrew epistle when we are instructed
to run life's race "looking unto Jesus, 
the Author and Finisher of our faith" (Heb 12:2) 

From all this we learn that faith is not 
a once-done act, but a continuous 

gaze of the heart at the Triune God. 
Like the eye, which sees everything 

in front of it and never sees itself, faith
is occupied with with the Object 

upon which it rests and pays no attention
to itself at all. While we are looking 

at God, we do not see ourselves--blessed riddance. 
The man who has struggled to purify 
himself and has had nothing but repeated 
failures will experience real relief when 
he stops tinkering with his soul and looks 

away to the perfect One. While he looks 
at Christ, the very things he has 

so long been trying to do will be 
getting done within him. It will be God 

working in him to will and to do. ' (
The Pursuit of God p.90, 91)

Sweet Jesus,

Remind me of my Savior's words in John 15--

"Abide in Me and I in you....for apart from me, you can do nothing." 

Tune my heart to sing your praise today. Remind my ever wandering heart of my desperate need for you. As I live these blessed moments that you have given me today, I pray that my heart would desperately seek you, as in a dry and weary land. I pray that more than anything else, I would long for your presence and the beauty of your fellowship as I abide in You and You abide in me. 

Remind me that although I may set about to do great things, 

apart from you, I can do nothing--nothing of value anyway. For it is You, at work within me, that any good comes. 

Let your goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee. 

Turn my eyes away from myself that I may gaze upon you

and in that gaze, let me see myself for who I am and more importantly, may I see You for who You are and a result, may I truly understand what it means to live and love. 

By the blood of the Perfect Lamb, I pray, Amen. 

<><tce