by request...

I know what you're thinking--
"TWO POSTS IN ONE WEEK?! The sky has officially fallen and pigs have officially flown!" 
I know you are thinking that because truthfully I am thinking that too, but this blog post is by request.
So here it goes....

I don't know what I am so hesitant about. It's as though I have throngs of followers or something, when in reality, there really are very few, but this is a step none the less.

Nearly two months ago, the pastor of our church called and asked if I would step into the pulpit and speak when he would be gone. I hesitated, feeling as though the pulpit is not really the place for women (*gasp* yes, I just said that and yes, overall I do believe that, at least filling the role as 'Pastor'. Before you go pelting me with tomatoes for my view, set it aside, for that is a can of worms for another time and another place.) 

My husband and I prayed about it and talked it through with our pastor, who really affirmed the fact that he was not asking me to take Pastoral leadership of our church, but rather giving me an opportunity to use two gifts that God has given me--teaching and public speaking. As the youth coordinator of our church, he felt it important to give our congregation the opportunity to hear from me, just as their kids do on a regular basis.

With knots in my stomach, I complied.
Don't get me wrong, public speaking and teaching are my 'GO' buttons, as my husband likes to call them. It is as though I turn on when I am in front of a crowd, especially when I am teaching about something I love or teaching God's Word. My husband is right, there are very few things I love more.

In 2010 I went to Columbus, OH for a huge (3000+) week long youth conference. While lunching with an old friend that I happened to bump into (isn't God good?) I come to find out that she was actually playing a large part in the actual conference. As our lunch was coming to a close, she asked if I would consider speaking that night at the prayer rally before the closing session. Without hesitation, I agreed.
There I stood, with only hours of notice, speaking to 1500+ people and enjoying every moment of it.

But this was different. This was my church... people I knew, people I respected...people I had a lot to learn from, what could I possibly have to teach them?? I agonized over the possible reactions. I had dreams of being late and missing it completely. I dreamt that as soon as I started talking, half got up and left while the other half turned and started talking really loudly to those around them. I had another dream that the little microphone I needed to wear kept falling off and squealing, piercing the ears within earshot.
Ugh. The anticipation just about killed me.

Saturday was a long day and I just longed for Sunday afternoon.
Soon enough, the time came. I climbed the stairs when it was my turn and felt the eyes of the 250 people in attendance that morning staring at me. It almost seemed as though everyone was holding their breath in anticipation of those first few words. I had questioned my message a hundred times that morning, but surrendered that before the Lord, knowing it was too late to turn back now.

It started slowly. I spoke out of the book of Esther. I spent the first several minutes recapping the story, stumbling over my words and trying to touch the points of the story that I would refer to later on in the message. My mind raced, my tongue strained to keep up. I walked up and down the stage, making eye contact with the hundreds of eyes that watched me intently, taking in the words that were spoken and digesting the Truth being shared.

As I started in on the message, my tongue loosed, my blood pressure went down and I settled into my role as teacher, even if only for a brief time.

It is humbling to know that God uses ignorant, untrained people such as myself to speak His Truth (Acts 4:13). I was so blessed by the overwhelming response I received when I was done, in spite of my backwards ending. Just yet another tangible evidence that God is faithful and He specializes in using those that are simply willing to be used.

I have been asked to post it and share the message. Feel free to do with it as you like. If you listen, I pray that your heart will be encouraged and that my initial nervous tone does not distract you.
If not, be blessed dear friend and thank you for taking this time to read.

"Available, Firm and Faithful"
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id389220689?i=103796335

blessed.

tiffany