a funeral and a wedding

My heart has been savoring the words of King Solomon in the book of Proverbs.
The more I read, the more my heart longs for wisdom.
I long for discretion.
I long for discernment.
I long for understanding and self control.
I long for wisdom--to wear her like a dearly loved necklace--beautiful and protected and close to my heart.

Saturday was an interesting day. It was exhausting emotionally. It started with tears and ended with tears. The tears though, were two very different types of tears.

Saturday morning, dear friends of ours, said a final farewell to their beloved newborn son, who departed from earth to enter eternity after only twenty-five and one half weeks in existence.
He was perfect and beautiful.
The number of his days were altogether lovely and perfectly planned by His loving Creator.
Although there is great peace and rest in this truth, there is still great sadness for two parents who just want their baby back.
The anguish is great. The pain is real. There are no words to speak to the pain.
Just the still, small voice of Truth that says, "Come, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." 
Although words cannot explain it and only the Spirit of God can begin to heal it,
there was an overwhelming sense of hope in the midst of this unspeakable loss.

Late that same afternoon, I had been asked to share at the wedding of a couple I used to disciple. They have been living together for many years and have three children together. There is a history of drug use and alcohol abuse. They have the head knowledge of Biblical truth, but fail to see its value in life or the beauty in the freedom that the instruction and fear of Lord provide.

As I drove to the wedding, I prayed that the Spirit of God would prevail over the spirit of darkness that had been vying for their souls. I prayed that I would have a heart of love and celebration as they take this step of marriage. I surrendered the feeling of pointlessness and hopelessness.

What happened within the next three hours is terribly difficult to articulate and the only response I had as I drove home, thankful it was over, was tears.
Tears for what the Lord has given and how it has been wasted.
I wept for the gifts of life and the heritage of children that are sacrificed on the altar of momentary pleasure and drunken foolishness.

'My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commands with you, 
making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding;
yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord and will find the knowledge of God. 
For the Lord gives wisdom;
from His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield for those who walk in integrity,
guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of the saints.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path;
for wisdom will come into your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
discretion will watch over you,
understanding will guard you,
delivering you from the way of evil,
from men of perverted speech,
who forsake the paths of righteousness to walk in the ways of darkness,
who rejoice in doing evil and delight in the perverseness of evil,
men whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways.'
~King Solomon
Proverbs 2:1-15


I have spent countless hours with this couple as they wonder why God allows the hardships they face. I counsel them, pray with them, read Scripture with them. They want God's blessing, but have no desire to seek Him, to surround themselves with others that hunger for Righteousness, to receive His words, to call out for insight or to seek Him like precious jewels.
The result is hopelessness.
The result is that He will not shield them from the destruction of their own behavior.

As I drove home, I wept over the stark contrast of the two events of the day:
a hope filled, Christ centered funeral
and
a hopeless, Godless, wedding of fools.
While there may be laughing and feasting outwardly, if Christ is not present, all hope is gone.
In sharp contrast, even in the presence of deep grief and loss and tragedy, where the Spirit of the Lord is, the great is great hope, unexplainable peace, unconditional joy.
When all is said and done,
it is not life or happiness we long for and our souls crave--
it is the presence of the Almighty God.
So if that means standing in the house of mourning,
I will gladly forgo the wedding of fools,
to dwell in the Presence of God in the company of saints.

Oh sweet Jesus, Lover of my soul!
Let me not throw the beauty of the life you have given before the swine to be trampled underfoot for the sake of momentary pleasure. 
Today, I seek you. My heart longs for wisdom and so I will intentionally saturate my mind with Your Word and those who speak Your Word and live Your Word. 
Grant my heart grace to receive your words: to hear them and live them.
Incline my ear to wisdom as I raise my voice to heaven and cry out for understanding. 
You promise to shield those who walk in integrity
and so this new day my sweet Jesus, 
I pray that I will walk integrity, and train my children to follow hard after You. 
Thank you for the promise of Your presence, even in the midst of unspeakable pain. 
May I savor Your presence today and spread the fragrance of Christ everywhere I go. 
Amen


seeking.
tiffany