off the grid

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Psalm 23:6

Goodness and mercy. 

My house smells like fresh lemons. But when I look around, I see the trash that needs to be taken out and the dishes that are nearly finished. Two small things, but things that remain unfinished. If I am not careful, my sense of sight will overrule my sense of smell. I will focus on the unfinished rather than the blessed lemon bars that cool nearby. 

Isn't that how life is? 

It is so easy to see the weeds through the grass. 

Someone once told me, "Tiffany, some people complain about the thorns among the roses while others praise God for the roses among the thorns."

Same circumstance. Different perspective. 

The last few months have been challenging in many ways. 

As our house project winds down and the trim boards are being primed and ready for paint, the piles of unfinished mess scream my name. Daily, I am having to refocus on what has been completed rather than what is yet to be finished. 

It has been a challenging time spiritually as Satan has really pressed in hard. I will make a confession and I think I need to make this one out loud... I am really self conscious. I hate the idea that I would hurt or offend someone. I hate that I may rub someone wrong. Satan is really using that against me. 

As my desire to walk more intimately with Jesus becomes my primary goal in life, I am learning to lay all of that aside and trust that there will be people that will not like me or share the same desires in life. That's ok. I find myself feeling sometimes like, "Oh no, that person has an issue with me--where have I gone wrong?!" When truthfully, sometimes I haven't gone wrong at all, it is merely the Enemy trying to sow seeds of discord and self consciousness. 

I have also been wicked busy. 

Wicked is properly used, trust me. 

A few weeks ago, my husband looked deep into my soul and asked for his wife back. He missed the woman he married, the woman he laughs with and prays with. I missed her too. 

Last weekend, I returned from an incredible trip that I am eager to share with you. Since my return, I have been intentionally off the grid and hope to remain so (more or less) for the month of July. 

My children need it. My husband needs it. My soul needs it. 

I love the story of Mary and Martha. 

Martha is busy serving and toiling while Mary lounges at the feet of Jesus. 

I am definitely a Martha. My hands must always be doing. 

I love Jesus' response to her complaint about her 'inconsiderate' sister,

"Martha, you are distressed about a great many things. You have become distracted with much serving..." 

Isn't that the truth?!

How many of us as women, wives, mothers, Sunday School Teachers, friends, Pastor's wives, employees, home makers, can relate with that? I know that all too often, my eager, over zealous, servant hearted spirit often becomes distracted with much service. 

Notice that Christ is not correcting her service--he is correcting the perspective of her heart. She has lost sight of the reason she serves--to glorify Jesus Christ and to know Him more intimately. 

That has been me.

I have greatly enjoyed the last several days with my sweet kids and husband. 

I have taken very few phone calls, failed to check or reply to e-mail and have intentionally focused those precious morsels of energy not on anyone other than the family that God has blessed me with. 

In some ways, it has been hard to be off the grid as self creeps back in and I feel as though people will be hurt, feel ignored or stop 'following' my blog because I have failed to post. Then the Holy Spirit, in His gentle wisdom, reminds me of why I blog--it is not to gain followers, but rather to glorify the Giver of my gift. Right now, I will glorify Him by loving those nearest to me. 

So, for now, I will live off the grid and will pray that my heart will take a moment to sit at the feet of Jesus. In this time, I too will pray for you. I pray that your heart will learn what it means to dwell in the house of the Lord and that as a result, goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life. 

live abundantly.

tiffany