"Baby Girl..."

It has been a lovely day. a full day. a friday.

As I journey with God through life, the lessons seem unending and sometimes the weariness is more than I can want to endure. While there are lessons on patience, gentleness, graciousness and all these other noble things that I seem to be lacking, the lessons hardest to learn are about seeing the me that God Himself has created.

Comparision waits around the corner and is eager to shine the spotlight on the mom that I am not and the mom that so and so is. 

She sews with her girls. Look at those adorable costumes. handmade satchels. crocheted leg warmers. *sigh*

She takes trips with her girls. Look at all the photos and special keepsakes. So what if they'll be in the rummage sale next summer. think of the memories. 
*sigh*

She has such a great garden. such a great way of incorporating her kids into nature and literature and excercise and culture and everything handmade and homemade and...
*sigh* 

Comparision lies in wait to flaunt the homemaker that I will never be as I step through the door and am greeted by the dust of yesterday and the deadlines of tomorrow. My mind flutters back to the perfectly kept home of a friend, the finished baseboard trim of another and the matching home decor of yet another.

As I settle down inside, making a place to sit and savor the presence of God in the midst of the strewn toys, misplaced car keys and lost library books,
He speaks truth through the lies screaming for attention.
He speaks to the woman I want to be...to the woman I was...and most importantly...
to the woman I am. 

Baby Girl, 
you 
are 
mine. 

every word I will ever write. speak. think.
pray.
comes from the spring of Life.
every thing I will ever do or hope to do
comes from the Giver of all good things.
every project I finish...every project I try to finish...every project I fail to finish...
will be surrendered to Him.

Everything I am. everything I wish I was. everything I aspire to be. everything I will never be.
everything is captured eternally in those five words....

Baby Girl, 
you 
are
 mine. 

<><tce

captive

As the battle for my mind rages on,
this morning I stand before God and surrender the discouragement that threatens my peace.
I desire to take every thought captive and make it obedient to the TRUTH,
knowing it will take intentional saturation of the TRUTH...
the Word of God.

Every thought of frustration,
hopelessness,
resentment,
fear,
weariness...
will have to pass through the sieve of Philippians 4.
If it passes the test, I will entertain the thought.
If it does not,
I will disregard it as a lie and take hold of truth in its place.

'Rejoice in the Lord always;

again I will say, 

REJOICE!

Let your reasonablness be known to all.

The Lord is at hand. 

DO NOT BE ANXIOUS 

about anything,

but in everything

by prayer and supplication

with 

thanksgiving

let your requests be made known to God. 

And the PEACE of God,

which surpasses all understanding,

will guard your heart and mind

in Christ Jesus.

Finally brothers, 

whatever is TRUE,

whatever is HONORABLE,

whatever is JUST,

whatever is PURE,

whatever is LOVELY,

whatever is COMMENDABLE,

if there is any EXCELLENCE,

if there is anything WORTHY of PRAISE,

think about these things."

Philippians 4:4-8

Before I complain, I will rejoice. 

Before I fret and worry, I will pray and give thanks. 

I will take captive that which is not true or honorable.

I will be fair and choose justice.

I will choose purity of thought and purity of speech. 

I will choose that which is lovely rather than that which is cynical or unkind or foul. 

I will choose to see that which is excellent: in my husband. my children. my family. my church. my friends. 

and I will give thanks for those excellent things

all the while surrendering all the rest in prayer. 

I will choose praise before I complain. 

I will praise my husband for a job done well rather than complain about what he has not done. 

I will praise my children for the grace of God at work in them while I continue to teach and train them in patience and gentleness. 

I will praise the Lord for His favor and kindness in the midst of my unkindness and unworthiness.

and when the day is done, 

I will lay my head on my pillow and rest. 

Sweet Jesus, 

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be a fragrant offering to you today

as your peace sets itself as a guard upon my heart and mind. 

<><tce

...and the prisoners were listening

'About midnight Paul and Silas were praying

and singing hymns to God,

and the prisoners were listening to them...'

Acts 16:25

I absolutely love this story! 

Just imagine for a moment...

you're imprisoned unfairly...

dark. cold. damp. crowded. 

I can't be completely certain as to what my response would be; I would like to think that it would be gracious and joyful and eager to honor my Lord in the midst of it all, but given the comfortable life I am used to living, I am not entriely sure. 

Here are two men, Paul and Silas, in love with Jesus. 

Their lives completely transformed by the God who lived and died to save their souls. 

Imprisoned for bringing light to the darkness...hope to the hopeless. 

So here they sit...

the dampness unable to snuff out their light...

the shackles binding their feet but not their tongues...

the coldness adding stark contrast to the life giving warmth of the presence of God in that place. 

Paul and Silas were not clammering about the unfairness of the situation. 

They were not building support for a riot. 

They were praising and praying! 

...and the prisoners were listening. 

The unfairness of life can be slippery slope and a dangerous rabbit hole. 

The bitterness it brings can swallow a person whole. 

The only guard against it: gratitude. 

For everything I complain about, whether legit or not, there is something to thank God for. 

In that moment, I have a choice to make: 

complain or give thanks. 

The choice has the power to not only change my life, but the lives of those around me. 

Whatver 'prison' you may find yourself in, whether it is a challenging marriage, a dead-end job full of corporate politics, a barren womb, grief from loss or shattered dreams, unemployment, illness, financial strain.....

my prayer is that you will embrace the God who cares in the midst of the darkness and cold and dampness of life. 

I pray that the God who promised to be an ever present help in times of trouble would be so present that your soul can't help but sing. 

I pray that gratitude would spill out of you,
cutting through the darkness like a knife and bringing hope to your weary bones. 

And don't forget all those imprisoned around you...

they will be listening. 

blessing be yours. 

tiffany 

in God alone

'Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

but we trust in the name of the 

Lord our God!'

Psalm 20:7

O sweet Jesus--keep my heart from idols!

Keep my heart from looking to things or people for protection, deliverance or fulfillment. May my heart's affection and my heart's confidence be found solely in you. Grant me grace that I may always remember that the securities of this earth are temporary and while mortal men are eternal beings because of their souls, their presence on this earth is as temporary as a blade of grass. 

Today and tomorrow and the days to come, may my heart bow to you only and find it's security and peace and fulfillment and rest in your name alone!

peace. 

tiffany 

3,650

3,650 days.
10 years.
1 decade.
2 people.
young. oblivious. hopeful. hopelessly in love.
Stood before one hundred family and friends and promised to hold onto each other.
to love each other.
to love God.

Fast forward a full decade.
The sun has risen and set more than three thousand times.
Sunsets followed joy filled days and others were embraced knowing the day was over and a new one would bring a new beginning.
There has been laughter....laughter through tears and laughter that brought tears.
There has been tears...babies and their first cries...babies that made their Mama cry.
There has been pain...bones broken, power tool accidents, scraped knees and hot words spoken in anger.
There are new smile lines and aching muscles.
There have been mistakes.
There has been forgiveness.
There has been miles driven and destinations reached. Photos taken and milestones passed.
There has been diplomas earned and dollars returned.
There has been the unexpected and the expected...the nights spent in prayer and the nights spent under the stars.
We have raced...we have won...we have surrendered...we have held on.
We have held on to the the hope that Christ is glorified not through the illusion of perfection but through two people, daily making a choice to love Him first and to love others well...starting with one another.
In an earthly sense, we were destined to fail,
but we held onto the promise that if God is for us, who can be against us?
We remember that we have been forgiven and therefore we are called to forgive.

"For where you go I will go,

and where you live I will live.

Your people will be my people, and your God my God.

Where you die I will die and there I will be buried. 

May the Lord deal with me ever so severely if anything but death separates you and me."

Ruth 1:16b-17

Thank you for being my Beloved. 
Thank you for loving me as Christ has loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. 
I love you but I love God more. It is beacuse of that love for Christ, that my love for you continues to grow. I love the man that you are and I love the man you are becomming. 
Thank you for joining me on this journey of life and love. 
I am crazy about you. 
Yours eternally. 

<><tce

the freedom

'...But when they measure themselves by one another 

and compare themselves with one another,

they are without understanding.'

2 Corinthians 10:12b

I love this. Love. love. love. this. 

Paul is addressing the issue of self righteousness and spiritual comparison.... 

Ha, and we thought the Bible was not relevant to our lives today! 

As my soul savored these precious words today, a quiet and profound sense of freedom washed over me...alongside the solid conviction of my Sweet Jesus....

Baby Girl, 

when you compare yourself-your children-your home-your body-your yard-your accomplishments-your failures-your giftings-to that of another, 

you are failing to understand the beauty that I have in store for you and the work I am doing in others. 

Your journey will never mirror that of another. 

With my strength you will begin to savor that and the pull to compare will cease. 

Walk with Me. 

A prayer of my heart is the prayer for understanding. 

I long to understand who God is and the woman He is creating me to be. 

I long to understand my husband and children so as to love them more. 

I long to understand the hurt and anguish around me so as to minister His love and healing more effectively. 

I long to understand. 

When I fall prey to the pull of comparison, I am forfeiting the divine understanding of the Creator of all I compare. 

As I digest this profound truth, 

the beautiful result is sweet, sweet freedom. 

Freedom to leave behind the scrutiny of others and even more so the scrutiny of myself. 

I lay down the weight of judgement and condemnation and trade it for the yoke that only the Creator God can offer. 

And with that comes understanding. 

Freedom and understanding. 

Yes please. 

<><tce

simple.profound.

"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength."
 ~ Isaiah 30:15

My face hurts from the sinus pressure. 

My shoulder is sore for an unknown reason. 

My body is tired from little sleep and lots of play. 

My spirit is spilling over with joy for reasons that are hard to articulate.

God is doing a profound and simple work in my heart and mind and life. 

My soul longs for intimacy with Jesus. 
In that longing I am filled. 

I crave the covering of His presence

and the rest I find there. 

My mouth falls silent as my heart and strength are renewed

in spite of all physical circumstances. 

And sometimes, the only response I have is to savor the silence and
allow my heart to beat my gratitude.  

Sweet Jesus, thank you. 

filled.

tiffany