fear.

The only sound was the frozen earth beneath my feet and the sound of my breath leaving my body. The air was cold against my face and felt like life in my nostrils. My lungs inhaling deeply as though to try to breathe it all in at once. The lazy haze of smoke hung lifelessly in the still air as I moved through it. The stars fill the black sky hanging above me while the moon shines its borrowed light upon the quiet earth below. The air is still. silent. vibrant.
I turn the corner and put the light of the moon at my back casting shadows all around me. As my eyes strain to see the familiar landscape ahead, a slow, silent fear begins to grip me. The landscape is no longer familiar as shapes take on dark facades and I see nothing but shadows.
"Is that a figure of a person coming toward me?" I wonder silently entering a mild state of panic. The shadows dance around me, taunting me as I try to decipher what is real and what is not; what is moving and what isn't.
In that moment, I realize that I am completely helpless. 
If an animal were to come at me or a person with sinister intent, I would be utterly and completely defenseless. As my mind waged war with the spirit of fear threatening my soul, the joy that I had as I walked just moments ago vanished and left nothing but a heavy weight of fear of the unknown.

This is my road.
I have met with God countless times on my road. I know this road. The gravel is familiar beneath my feet and the fragrance of the air brings life to my spirit.
But now that I walk in darkness, physically alone and trying to discern shadow from reality, the road feels unfamiliar and threatening.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

Psalm 139: 7-12

During my time in Honduras, I committed this entire Psalm to memory and it has breathed life into my soul thousands of times. As the landscape of life changes it is often accompanied by a silent and overwhelming spirit of fear that screams into my soul and threatens to invade every recess of my spirit. 

The road of life stretches out before me and I strain to see what is ahead and I try to discern what is real and what is not, but I must stand and defy the shadows. I must not turn tail and run like I want to. 

Life can be so familiar, so full of cold, crisp, life giving air one moment and in the next, it feels as though everything that was once secure is gone and the familiar has been overtaken by shadows. 

I will take of hold of truth. 

I will allow Truth to take hold of me. 

I will walk in freedom and courage. 

even in the midst of shadows. 

knowing that what is darkness to me, 

is light to Him. 

What is unknown to me, 

is known to Him. 

fear will no longer have a hold on me.