one of those moments

do you ever have one of those moments when your heart is so full that words won't come?

Right now, in this moment, I feel that way.
On one hand, my heart is overflowing from blessing.
I have the most splendid and godly women in my life that I have the privilege of calling friends. Spending the evening with some of them was like salve on a wound.
I needed their company and God blessed me by it.
On the other hand, there are things weighing on my soul that words can't express.
Some are deep wounds,
some are small things that I am sure I am exaggerating in my tired heart,
and others are things that I inflict on myself
such as expectations.

It is in these moments that I find myself in the presence of a mind-reading, heart-hearing, spirit-sensing, ever gracious, eternally loving, majestic and holy God.

"And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit,

because the Spirit intercedes for the saints

according to the will of God." 

Romans 8:27

Some moments, I don't even know how to pray...

or what to pray...

It is in those moments that I claim this promise. 

I will trust that in those moments when words aren't there,

the Spirit will intercede for me according to the will of God. 

That is what I want. 

That is all I want.

The will of God in my life

in these moments

and in those moments to come. 

He will search my heart, 

and intercede on my behalf 

according to the will of God. 

all I can say is thank you. 

Good night lovely friends. 

<><tce

take refuge

"Have you not known?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is an everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth. 

He does not faint or grow weary;

His understanding in unsearchable.

He gives power to the faint,

and to him who has no might He increases strength.

Even youths shall faint and be weary,

and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings like eagles

they shall run and not be weary;

they shall walk and not faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

weary.  exhausted. weak. 

Words I know well. 

There are many things I love about this passage, but my favorite? 

Isaiah starts out reminding us who God is. 

He doesn't address weariness or exhaustion until after he reminds his reader Who God is and how big God is. 

We are weary, He is powerful.

We are exhausted, His strength has no limits.

We are limited in knowledge, He is unsearchable in knowledge. 

There is not a single mortal man that does not meet his limit. his end. his crumbling point.

Even those that are young, smart, rich, successful, godly, will meet that point. 

But, the story doesn't end there. 

When we fall, when we faint, God is there. 

God is there in times of strength

and in times of weariness. 

It is in waiting...quiet waiting....

that we will be renewed. 

We cease striving, planning, plodding, managing...

and rest. 

Not only renewed, but we will be given a new perspective of it all. 

A birds eye view so to speak. 

God will give us wings like eagles to rise above the pain, the shame, the weariness.

We will be renewed in our fight against the Enemy and in our desire to run a race worthy of the prize. 

It is in this place--the refuge of an Almighty, unlimited God--that we find what we need--

a renewed understanding of who God is. 

a blessed reunion

Bible story bed-time with Nana

A few weeks ago,

I was weary in every sense of the word. 

There were a lot of things that hit the fan so to speak, 

and I found myself exhausted...

mentally, emotionally, spiritually,

exhausted. 

This came at a time when I was planning a small getaway with the kids for about five days.

I stayed with a woman that has been a great tool in the hands of God in my life through the years. 

All through high school, her youngest son was one of my nearest and dearest friends. 

We understood each other without the muddle of romance. 

He was someone I could count on and so was she. 

Our friendship has changed as we have both married and started families,

but there are those people that no matter how many miles or how many years pass, 

the friendship remains. 

I had people praying for me and the more miles that passed

the lighter I felt. 

I needed to get away and refocus. recharge. rest. 

I had very few plans for the weekend and very few expectations. 

I pulled in her driveway about two hours earlier than planned.

Just in time for dinner :) 

It was a warmish spring day and unknown to me, her two sons were coming to help out for a bit that evening. Yay! 

What a blessing it was to see good, godly friends again.

They each had their children with them so it was fun to see them as dads.

We sat at the dinner table well after the kids had finished and had gone to play

and talked about God, marriage, loving our spouses, loving our children and blood sugar. 

It was a lovely evening. 

I went to bed that night smiling. 

I didn't ask for it and He certainly didn't have to give it,

but that night He gave me a tangible reminder of Who He is. 

He is a God of fellowship, brotherhood, community.

God did not create us to be alone or to walk this road alone.

There are moments when the sense of isolation is all around me.

It is in those moments that God reminds me of His faithfulness

and His presence that is unaffected by the temporal things of earth.

The weekend just got better from there and I left for home

ready to face life again and to run the race set before me. 

God is faithful!

May renewal,

refocus,

and refreshment 

be attributes of your weekend. 

Blessings!

<><tce

do

there are many things I do
and many things I don't.

there are many things I wish I did
and many things I am glad I don't.

there are many things I try to do
and even more that I don't
because I am certain I can't.

of everything I do, wish I did or try to do,
there are a great many things I love to do,
and those are the things I make sure to do.
my heart smiles when I write;
my heart smiles when I teach;
my heart smiles when I bake;
my heart smiles when I look at this lovely and simple life I have and realize that
it is not about what I do,
but about what Christ has done.

It is because of that I am able to,
desire to,
and take joy in
what I do.

Good night sweet friends!
<><tce

This is the will of God

"See to it that no one repays evil for evil,

but always seeks to do good to one another and to everyone.

Rejoice always,

pray without ceasing,

give thanks in all circumstances

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus 

for you."

1 Thessalonians 5:15-18

The will of God for me. 

Have you ever found yourself saying or wishing, "Man, I just wish I knew what God's will was!" 

I find it interesting that in many Christian circles and in many churches across America, we treat God's will like some mysterious cosmic plan that we are always guessing at and crossing our fingers we are taking the right path. 

The amazing thing about God is that He has laid the path clearly in His Word and when we are faithful to live according to His faithful instruction, we will be in the center of His will for our lives. 

"Always seek to do good..."

I am called to not only do good, but to look for opportunities to do good.

to everyone. 

"Rejoice always..."

When my heart is inclined to praise, my eyes will be inclined to see God's faithfulness in every part of my life. 

Rejoice--this is verbal, active and public. 

Tell stories of God's faithfulness. Praise Him in the public arena. 

Take joy in His goodness to an undeserving person that is destitute without it. 

Rejoice!

"Pray without ceasing..."

Just as I think without ceasing, 

may my heart pray without ceasing. 

May my heart be in a continual state of communication with God

laying before Him that things that I agonize over,

take joy in,

stress over,

resent, 

disagree with, 

weep over

and hope for. 

and everything else that floats through my cluttered mind in any given minute. 

May prayer be the language of my heart more than English is the language of my lips. 

"Give thanks in all circumstances..."

Max Lucado puts it this way,

"I will praise before I curse. 

Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank my God for a moment to pray."

There is always something to be thankful for 

simply because God is in every situation at all times. 

There will always be evidence of God's faithful love and mercy if we would just open our eyes to see it. And when we do, we are called to give thanks. 

When our hearts speak the language of gratitude, 

the spirit of discontentment, bitterness and self pity will flee. 

I will take my mind and my life back from the spirit of self that seeks to consume it

and in it's place, 

I will thank my God for the light in my eyes, 

the breath in my body 

and the hope eternal that no one can take away from me. 

Actively seeking good,

rejoicing,

prayer

and gratitude.

They walk together. They journey together. They occur together. 

When we seek to do good, we will rejoice in the ability to do so, pray for those around us and inhabit a heart of gratitude to a God that is not affected by the temporary things of earth. 

And therefore, neither are we.

Rejoice!

<><tce

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

There are certain songs that capture my heart and my only response is through song and tears.
This is one of those and I feel compelled to share it with you.
If you didn't know, this was the inspiration for my blog title, fettered heart.
Blessings to you all!

<><tce

happiness vs holiness

I knew it after just four months...I was going to marry him.
I was only 17, but that didn't matter. He was perfect in every way and I would be a fool to let him go.
I always say that I found a guy that was too good for me and I snagged him before he could realize that. He says it's not true, but I still know that it is. :)
He is everything I never knew I always wanted.

I was engaged just days after turning 19 and blissfully married at 20.
Life couldn't have been better.

It didn't take long however to learn that marriage is hard.
There is nothing that exposes sin like marriage and parenting,
and for us, there wasn't much time in between, so it was a rough road at first.

Before we were married, a godly woman gave me the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas...a book that I would recommend to anyone that knows how to read.
His whole book is based on the principle,
"What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" 


As we approach our nine year anniversary, I must say that is absolutely true.
Our society as elevated happiness to a 'right' and encourages us to pursue it all costs.
The problem with this philosophy is that happiness is ever changing and elusive.
If we are not happy, we begin to think that something is wrong.
There are many times that may be true, but often, what is wrong is within us.
We swap spouses and move from relationship to relationship seeking that which only God can give us. We make demands upon our spouses to fulfill us entirely and act shocked when we realize that they are flawed humans that will disappoint and hurt us.

While it is true that God's love for us is unending and unconditional,
He desires for us to be holy just as He is holy.
While does love us just they way we are,
He refuses to leave us that way.
Just as a mother, I love my children in their small childlike state,
but I will have failed as a mother if they are 35 and still behaving as they do now.
It is up to us as parents to challenge them to grow and mature in their thinking and their observation of and response to the world around them.

God is the same with us.
He desires for us to mature and to become more like Him in the way we live, love and worship.
It is often through the covenant of marriage that He will faithfully grind away and expose those areas of sin and self that deprive us of the very life He has for us.
Sadly, many people run from it.
We would rather live in our disappointing and unfulfilling manner than to journey life with Jesus and let go of our own ideas of what life and love ought to be.

You see, when we begin to realize that marriage is more about holiness than it is about happiness,
we will begin to see our spouses differently as well as the life we live in general.
Taking the focus off of our own happiness and refocusing our hearts to God's holiness does just that--our hearts begin to refocus on the heart of God rather than the ever changing heart of man.

We were created for God.
He and he alone will satisfy the way our eternal souls need satisfaction.
When we begin to place those demands on a mortal man,
we are setting ourselves up for a fall.
When we begin to find ourselves in Him
through regular time and fellowship with Him,
our souls will be satisfied, challenged and changed.
As a result, our relationships will be satisfied, challenged and changed.

This mentality is by far the road less traveled by.
But one thing I know,
the Companion traveling with you will never change course
and He never grows weary or runs out of love, grace or patience.

May God be glorified and may your heart be satisfied within His presence and through your most intimate of relationships.
Blessings dear friends...

<><tce

love

'If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,
but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or clanging cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy,
and understand all mysteries
and possess all knowledge,
and if I have all faith to remove mountains,
but have not love,
I am nothing. 
If I give away all I have,
and sacrifice my body to burned,
but have not love,
I gain nothing. 


Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on it's own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrong doing, 
but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never fails.'
1 Corinthians 13:1-8a


I can write beautifully and teach with great eloquence,
but if it does not yield to others out of love and reverence for Christ, 
it is of no value. 


I can have a doctorate, a PhD, and all the esteem of man in the realm of education and success,
but if my life is not lived out in love, 
it is empty and pointless. 


To love is an impossible command.
I will never be capable of loving another in a way that fulfills this scripture,
because I am a sinful, wicked woman
that loves herself more naturally  and readily than I do others.

However,
in Matthew and 1 John, I find the answer to my moral dilemma.
'And He [Jesus] said to them,
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 
This is the great and first commandment.
And a second is like it:
You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself.
On these commands depend all the Law and all the Prophets."
Matthew 22:37-40


'We love because He first loved us.
If anyone says, 
"I love God," and hates his brother,
he is a liar; 
for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen
cannot love God whom he has not seen.
And this commandment we have from him:
whoever loves God must also love his brother.'
1 John 4:19-21


To separate a love for God from a love for man is impossible. 
God is love.
A love for God and a love for others are entwined.
We cannot love God without loving others.
We cannot love others without loving God.


Father God, precious Jesus...
Thank you for loving me first. 
Thank you for not waiting for me to be worthy of your love and your sacrifice. 
Please forgive me for waiting to love others until they earn it or show they deserve it. 
God, remove this conditional love that I offer and replace it with a love that is sacrificial,
gracious,
patient,
and merciful.
Remind me sweet Jesus, that you love me in spite of myself.
I am called to do the same.
May your unconditional love continue to radically change me from the inside out
and may I understand what love looks like lived out in my everyday moments.
Thank you for the truth of Your Word;
a truth that penetrates the inner recesses of my soul
where often darkness and an intense love for self grow deeply rooted. 
Thank you that your love has promised to change all of that. 
May I never forget that to love others is to love You
and to love You is to love others. 


It is by You and for You and through You
I live and move and have my being.
Take the offering of my love 
and be glorified in me today sweet Jesus.
May the fragrance of Your unfailing love
be the aroma of my life today.
Amen


<><tce