Enough.

Look around you.
I see my eight year old daughter assembling a puzzle at the table.
I hear the soft breathing of my youngest through the baby monitor.
I see rolls of carpet that represents a lot of money spent in hopes of home improvement.
My dog is curled up on the floor at my feet.
In a moment, any one of those things could be gone.
The soft breathing could stop, the carpet could burn and the dog could meet his fate while challenging the snow plow as he often does.
I challenge you to look around and find something that is not temporary, something that you can hold onto forever, something that is not at the mercy of the temporary nature of this earth.

February 13, 2004, while 20 weeks pregnant with our last child, our only son, I stared death in the face for the first time. The doctor made no guarantees and my husband and I waited in angst to hear if our unborn baby was going to live or die.

During this time of turmoil, these dark hours, God met me there. I scoured the pages of my Bible, feverishly searching for a story that would promise me a favorable ending. The thought of putting this precious life into the ground was something I couldn't even bear. I needed to KNOW that God would not require that of me. After hours of searching and nurses telling me I needed to rest, I slammed my Bible closed. I looked toward heaven and reminded God of my faithful service and reprimanded Him for His failure to meet me in my anguish. How dare He turn His back on me in my darkest hour. How dare He walk me through this fire. I didn't deserve this.

Sweetly. Quietly. Undeservedly. His voice spoke truth to my angry and fearful heart. The verse is tucked away in the middle of the tenth chapter of Hebrews and reads like this: "Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23 Although these weren't the words my weary soul wanted, they were the words my weary soul needed. Although everything around me seemed to be crumbling, the confession of hope had not been moved simply because the Promiser had not been moved. 
In those quiet moments in that dark and solitary hospital room, God quietly spoke truth and peace to the inmost chambers of my heart. "Tiffany, you search for a promise that you will be spared from this trial, but that is not what I will give. What I do promise is that I am faithful. I am faithful in life and I am faithful in death. I am faithful in sickness and I am faithful in health. I am faithful in all things and at all times. I am faithful when your spouse hurts you. I am faithful when the Doctor fails you. I am faithful. When it is there that your hope is found, you will not be shaken. Though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, you will not be moved because I am faithful." 


For those that know the ending and for those that don't, I will say that my baby was spared. For now anyway. He too is a temporal being, under the curse of death as is every other living thing on earth. He is dying just as I am dying. His days are numbered just as my days are numbered.
God's Word commands us to "set our hearts on things above and not on things of this earth" (Colossians 3:2)for the simple reason that everything on earth is subject to the temporal nature of this earth. When our hearts find our fulfillment, completion and hope in people or things of this earth, we find ourselves in a dangerous place. People will fail, things will break and living things will die. If our everything is summed up in these things, there will come a day when you will stand before a coffin or hospital bed and watch everything you live for slip through your fingers. You will find your hope snuffed out and your heart angry. BUT, when the first affections of our hearts are given to Christ, everything else becomes a blessed detail. While those blessed details fill our lives with beauty, we recognize that they themselves are not the source of the beauty. Just as Abraham held loosely to the life of his beloved and promised son (Genesis 22, Hebrews 11) we too must hold loosely to the things our hearts are inclined to worship. When we fail to do so, we become slaves to the temporary. We live our lives in fear of the unknown. We fear the possibility of evil, infidelity, financial ruin, disease and death. The temporary idols of this world become shackles around our hands and feet and imprison us to fear. God has come that we may have hope. God's Word says that in this life we will have trouble (John 16) but He goes on to remind us that He has overcome the world. He overcome death and disease and while he has not promised a painless existence with no 'unfair' suffering,  He has promised to be faithful. 


When all is said and done that alone remains. That alone is enough. 
<><tce

cheesecake and a challenge

I told you in my last post that I would post the cheesecake recipe as well as the lemon curd topping that I made to go with it. I also have something that I would like you to hold me accountable for *gulp* but I will share that after the recipe. First thing's first....

*Side note: This is a recipe for an authentic cheesecake. If you are looking for something cheap and easy this would not be the recipe for you. If you are looking for something that is comparable or better than the Cheesecake Factory, this is it.

Philadelphia New York Cheesecake


1 individual package honey grahams, crushed (I use my food processor)
1 C (I use about 1 1/3C), plus 3 TBS sugar, divided
3TBS butter melted
5 -8oz pkg. cream cheese, softened (it is BEST to do this by letting them sit on your counter top. It is really tricky to do this in the microwave without them getting clumpy)
3 TBSP flour
1TBS vanilla (I always use a little more and I use vanilla bean paste--noticeably better but equally more expensive) 
1 C sour cream
4 eggs
topping of choice (lemon curd recommended :)


1.) Preheat oven to 325F. Prepare spring form pan. Mix crumbs, melted butter and 3TBS sugar; press into pan. Bake 10 minutes.
2.) Beat cream cheese, remaining sugar, flour and vanilla in mixer until blended. Add sour cream, mix well. Add eggs, one at a time, on low speed just until blended. Pour over hot crust. Bake 40 minutes or until center is almost set (it will be golden to dark brown, raised and appear cracked. This is normal.) 
3.) After pulling it from the oven, allow to cool completely on the counter top. Release the buckle on the side of the pan and allow the cake to set a bit longer. Carefully (use a butter knife to release the edges if needed) remove the outer edge of the pan. Top with desired topping and enjoy!


Microwave Lemon Curd 
from allrecipes.com


1 cup white sugar
3 eggs
1 cup fresh lemon juice
3 lemons, zested (I typically just use 1 or 2 depending on the price of the lemons) 
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted

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• In a microwave-safe bowl, whisk together the sugar and eggs until smooth. Stir in lemon juice, lemon zest and butter. Cook in the microwave for one minute intervals, stirring after each minute until the mixture is thick enough to coat the back of a metal spoon. Remove from the microwave, and pour into small sterile jars. Store for up to three weeks in the refrigerator.
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Ok friends...

Here is the challenge...

I love to read. I think there is much to be learned from one another and the stories we share through our writing (hence the reason I blog). However, if you are anything like me, by the time I get the kids to bed, finish any topical house cleaning and clear a place to sit, I am almost completely out of steam. I often try to pick up a book but after reading the same paragraph about three times, I usually admit defeat, shut the book and turn out the lights. As a result, I have been reading the same books for years! I am determined that will change in 2011. I have no idea how many of you are out there and reading this, but I am going to say this anyway. My goal this year is to read a book every month and at the end of each month I will write my 'book report' and share it with you, what I learned and if the book will go on my 'To Recommend' list or into the trash. I will tell you the book ahead of time so if you are interested in taking my challenge you can read along too and provide your feedback. I like to switch up my reading a little bit, just so you know. I love to read books about theology, marriage, parenting and Christ as well as novels and pleasure reading. If you know of something that would be worth my time, please share! 

Anyway, thanks for taking the challenge and holding me accountable. I just started reading The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. So far, it has been pretty easy reading and I am looking forward to the encouragement and challenge that exists within it's paragraphs and pages. 

Happy reading! 

<><tce 

a happy night

My beloved turned 30 yesterday. I was hoping to do something special for him, but considering the fact that our house is in major renovation mode, it would have been impossible to do anything here. After giving it a lot of thought, I asked some of our sweet friends what they thought about the idea of hosting a surprise party at their house in my husband's honor. They readily agreed. Thus, the secret party planning madness began.

The evites went out (Side note: evite.com is a FABULOUS way to send invitations! It's a great and trustworthy program on-line that makes RSVP easy, lets you know who has even viewed the invite as well as saves lots on postage. Check it out! ), the plans started coming together. His parents drove six hours to share the special night as well as his brother, which made it really special. I planned the menu, cooked nine pounds of spaghetti, enough sauce to fill a small swimming pool and enough salad to feed both teams competing in the Super Bowl. I crossed my fingers that no one would slip the secret and baked 4 Midnight Bliss Chocolate Cakes with chocolate glaze, 1 cheesecake with lemon curd as well as 48 cupcakes (recipes below).

After scheming and planning, I was able to deliver my Beloved to the specified location at the specified time. Once he heard "SURPRISE!" he removed his blindfold (which he was not happy about wearing by the way, but I kind of enjoyed his agony ;). He had no idea and was completely shocked by the amount of people that came to share his night. For fun, I threw in an 80's theme. The ratted hair, the bad denim wash and the neon colors just added to the fun (J and I changed upon arriving).

As he and I talked about it on the way home, we were blown away by the people that love us and those at the party were just a sample of that. Although we don't live near family, we have friends that have become family to us. They support, challenge and pray for us as we raise our kids, walk through marriage and just live life. They have served as a concrete reminder that although something may be absent (in our case, family that lives nearby), God will never let His people lack that which they really need.

'And my God will supply every need of yours

according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

To our God and Father be glory forever and ever.

Amen.'

Philippians 4:19,20

'A friend loves at all times

and a brother is born in adversity.'

Proverbs 17:17

"No longer do I call you servants, 

for the servant does not know what the master is doing; 

but I have called you friends,

for all that I have heard from my Father, 

I have made known to you."

~Jesus Christ

John 15:15

Here are the recipes for the yummy treats! 

Baker's Midnight Bliss Chocolate Cake

4 eggs

1 pkg.  (2-layer size) chocolate cake mix, any kind

1 container (8 oz.) BREAKSTONE'S or KNUDSEN Sour Cream

1 pkg.  (4-serving size) JELL-O Chocolate Instant Pudding

1/2 cup MAXWELL HOUSE INTERNATIONAL CAFÉ, any café flavor (you can use any brand/flavor coffee. I use International Cafe Suisse Mocha caffeine free and sugar free) 

1/2 cup  oil

1/2 cup water

1 pkg.  (8 squares) BAKER'S Semi-Sweet Chocolate, chopped (I omit this and use the chocolate glaze on top instead) 

2 Tbsp. powdered sugar (Again, I omit this and use the glaze on top) 

PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Lightly grease 12-cup fluted tube pan or 10-inch tube pan; set aside.

BEAT all ingredients except chopped chocolate and powdered sugar in large bowl with electric mixer on low speed just until moistened, stopping frequently to scrape side of bowl. Beat on medium speed 2 min. or until well blended. Stir in chopped chocolate. Spoon into prepared pan.

BAKE 50 min. to 1 hour or until wooden toothpick inserted near center comes out clean. Cool in pan 10 min. Loosen cake from side of pan with metal spatula or knife. Invert cake onto wire rack; gently remove pan. Cool cake completely. Sprinkle with powdered sugar just before serving.

Satin Chocolate Glaze

from allrecipes.com
3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips (I don't care for semi-sweet so I use milk chocolate--yummy!) 

• 3 tablespoons butter 
• 1 tablespoon light corn syrup
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
• *I also use a dash of milk. I found it to be clumpy without it. You can add it right away or wait until the end and add until desired consistency

Due to other responsibilities I have waiting for me, I will post  the other recipes as well as pictures of the party at a later time. 

Hugs and blessings to you all!

<><tce

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while it was still dark

"And rising very early in the morning,

while it was still dark,

he [Jesus Christ] departed and went out to a desolate place,

and there he prayed."

Mark 1:35

I don't know about you, but I love to sleep. Often, this creates a bit of a conundrum, especially in the dark, cold, winter mornings. It is not unusual for me to lie in bed and between my nine minute snooze sessions, rationalize why it is ultimately to my benefit to linger in the sanctuary of my bed. 

As we take a moment to look at the example of Jesus Christ, we see him rising while it is yet night and intentionally meeting God in a desolate place to pray. Initially it is easy to think, "well, He is after all God--of course He would rise early to pray...." when in reality, the Bible says that He was in every way tempted as we are (Hebrews 4:15), yet He remained sinless. I am certain that after pulling those long nights of teaching, healing and shepherding (is that even a word?) that the morning came all too quickly at times. Let's not forget that although He was in every way God (Philippians. 2:6-8), He was still confined to the agonies of a human body. A body that undoubtedly begged for a nine minute snooze...just one more time...before the pressures of the day stared Him in the eye. 

As I was reading this, it struck me a different way this time. The verse itself is referring to darkness as it relates to the time of day. I believe that it can also mean darkness of sadness, grief or weariness. Often times, we wait for God to pull us from our pit first, then worship and pursuit follow. It is easy to blame God for the darkness, but if you read His Word, you will see that where the Spirit of God is darkness has to flee (Psalm 139:11). I would encourage you, if you feel like darkness is covers you like a garment, I would encourage you to meet God there. In the desolate place that your soul often abides, reach out, touch His heart and let His heart touch yours. 

My prayer for us this morning, is that we would be intentional about meeting with Jesus today regardless of where we are or where we have been. Does it have to be early morning? No. The Bible often refers to this because it signifies (I believe anyway) the ranking of priorities and the desire of our heart. For me, if I don't take the time in the morning to prepare myself mentally, emotionally and spiritually for the day, it is not going to matter if I got an extra 18 minutes of rest. When I allow His presence to renew my heart and mind, His Spirit of Rest covers me and lingers throughout the day. Take time to meet with Him. Be intentional. Seek Him as though you are searching for a precious child lost in the chaos of a large crowd...for this is exactly how God has pursued us. 

Blessings to you today dear friend!

<><tce

a breath of a prayer

Father, thank you for your profound presence in the midst of my consuming chaos. Meet me in this place Jesus. Fill my heart and mind with gratitude and peace. Allow patience and kindness to flow out of me as naturally as the breath from my nostrils. Bless the work of my hands that you may receive the glory and fame. Bring your Spirit of peace and rest, that it may cover me like a blanket and shelter me from the storm. Thank you for your love even when I fail to acknowledge your goodness. Please Jesus, bless others through me I pray. I present my life, my strength and my efforts before you as a humble offering. Be glorified in them and through them I pray. For it is to you and by you and because of you that I have breath in my body and hope in my heart. I love you Jesus.
Amen

<><tce

encouragement from an Apostle

'But we have this treasure in jars of clay,

to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed;

perplexed, but not driven to despair;

persecuted, but not forsaken;

struck down, but not destroyed;

so we do not lose heart.

Though our outer nature is wasting away, 

our inner nature is being renewed

day by day.

For this slight and momentary affliction is preparing 

for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,

as we look not to things that are seen

but to the things that are unseen.

For the things that are seen are transient,

but the things that are seen are eternal.'

2 Corinthians 4:7-9, 16-18
~Apostle Paul

We are not called to pretend as though we are not struggling. We are not called to deny our affliction, our persecution or the fact that we are perplexed or struck down. We are called to look beyond what is seen and set our eyes on what is not seen. 

"What in the WORLD does that mean?" you wonder. First, it is not easy, simply because what is seen and what is tangible is a lot more natural to believe or follow simply because it is just that, tangible. But, as we pursue God through prayer, fellowship with other believers and reading His Word--His love letter written for us--our perspective will change. We will begin to understand what Apostle Paul means when he calls our affliction slight and momentary. We will begin to see the eternal value in our pain and God is not only using it to refine us, but to minister to those around us, if we will allow. In all of eternity, our life is  only a moment in time, a vapor. The things that perplex us now will have no eternal place on the other side of heaven. 

Are you powerless? I am too. But our God isn't. Surpassing power belongs to Him--power that surpasses any moment in time, any betrayal, any hateful word or spiteful act. Although life may be unraveling, our bodies are wrinkling and our checkbooks are a mess, these are only temporary. God is using these things to prepare us as well as to refine us into people of grace, mercy and perseverance. 

O Father, that we would long to linger over the words of Your love letter to us this morning. O God, that our hearts would rest in the simple beauty of Your presence. May your Spirit, strength and mercy wash over us today as we seek Your face and pursue Your likeness. Amen

<><tce

28 days

There sits before you twenty eight days. Unopened. Undefiled.
A new leaf. A new day. A new beginning.
January is only a collection of memories, as joyful or painful or uneventful as they may have been, memories just the same.
Take from them what will make you more gracious and loving, hopeful and diligent. Leave what will make you bitter and arrogant, spiteful or angry. The new year's resolutions that have yet to begin await you now in the twenty eight untouched days.
May your heart be encouraged. May your spirit be inclined to the soft voice of the Spirit of God over your life. May the next twenty eight days not bring you happiness as much as they bring you holiness. Seek God while you still have time. Love like you have never loved before. Seek to have integrity in all things. Believe in His omnipresence and sufficiency. Believe.

'Now to Him who who is able to do far more abundantly 

than all that we ask or think,

according to the power at work within us,

to Him be the glory 

in the chrch and in Christ Jesus 

throughout all generations,

forever and ever. 

Amen.'

Ephesians 3:20,21

<><tce